Here and Now...What's Happening?

[donk]

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=5X9x0FJAs_M

[gripreaper]

Posted by donk (here)

Melt downs can be good. They just don't 'feel' that way.

Maybe that's what I need....a solid meltdown...heh. Ah well, guess it's for the best I ain't got the time or resources for a proper meltdown. I'll have to settle for the mini-meltdowns I was programmed for, and keep trying to get better

I too only have time for the occasional mini meltdown, although, should a full blown meltdown come with a complete catharsis, eliminating all chakra blockages and launching me into a full Kundalini awakening, I could probably take the time to embrace it. I just don't have the protocol in place for such an endeavor.

[araucaria]

Posted by Flash (here)
Paula thanks for the balloon bouquet to be sent away.

Yes, you are right, it could relate to a very difficult delivery and also a pregnancy at risk all along, from the start, from the few first days. And a very desired child from my side. I am an older mom you see. And yes, this fright I had was quite physical at the time.

It also has to do, I think, with a terrible divorce where the fight to keep her with me was a 4 years fight, with lawyers, medical experts (me for her aphasia, him to convince them I was a lost case and should not have my daughter etc), judicial shrinks (him on me), name it.

I knew that if she was with him, without me, she was finished. She would have been a human puree, mashed and smashed. She could never have grown with him. A sensitive soul dies with someone like this.

And a story he took a whole summer to build up -and he is bright - so that I would not be believed wherever I go, including my own lawyer at first. My very reputed lawyer told me it was one of the worst divorce she had seen. And she did not know half of what was going on.

I do feel that my own mission, over and above being a mom, is to protect her at any cost. She would not be my daughter and yet, it would be my mission. She chose a skilled mom in order to be fine, despite anything thrown at her.

So when new elements enters her life, and make the pain and hatred she cumulated in her youth - thanks mainly to her dad - comes to the surface, and have it directed at me, wow, this was unexpected. The fear of loosing her is also the fear of her loosing herself as well. But now I see it, this is the advantage.

I now know she will have to deal heavily with her demons, at a young age. I hope she will have the strenght and that I will be there to back her up when possible and know when to distance myself as well.

In the meantime, I will try to clean my own demons, the fright of loosing her being one of them (there is a difference between protecting and fright of loosing, the former being quite objective, the latter being neurotic). This is what I saw in the last 4 days.

I want to comment on the word ‘loosing’ here, not to be pedantic but to make a point. I am not criticizing Flash’s English because on this forum it is pretty standard to spell ‘losing’ with a double o. You are losing something when it is getting lost, you are loosing something when it is getting loose or free. In other words we are talking about the major issue for parents of teenage children, or of any age for that matter: knowing how to slacken your grip in the knowledge that loosing is not losing. The difficulty is obviously compounded for you Flash, and you must know a whole lot more about this than I do. You are clearly doing a fantastic job and you have my full support. It is a very delicate balance to achieve I’m sure. I remember having a conversation with Unified Serenity about the conflicting signals she was sending her daughter, telling her both to grow up and to do what mom says!

[astrid]

I actually aspire to melt downs, but then I'm just weird.

That way you get to build a whole new model.

[Wind]

Spring... A time of rebirth.

[ulli]

Good morning, rebirthers.

Serotonin and random acts of kindness.

http://www.nextworldtv.com/videos/in...in-motion.html

[RunningDeer]

[WhiteFeather]

Happy Easter and Spring Solstice Peeps

Meltdown's can be a good thing.

"There is no knowledge won without sacrifice. In order to gain anything, you must lose everything".
The Buddha

<:~~~We are all 1 tribe~~~:>

[RunningDeer]

[Michelle Marie]

Posted by Carmody (here)
Melt downs can be good. They just don't 'feel' that way.

Yes, from experience it can be an excruciating breakdown to breakthrough. It takes much courage. "This too shall pass" helps me a lot because I know I can surrender and release and get help that way.

I'm doing that right now too as I learn from my homelessness experience.

Humbling...

Shocking to the system...

And requiring total faith and trust.

Now it's resurrection time!
Happy Easter!!! REAL-EE!!!
Love,
Michelle Marie

[Michelle Marie]

Posted by gripreaper (here)

Posted by donk (here)

Melt downs can be good. They just don't 'feel' that way.

Maybe that's what I need....a solid meltdown...heh. Ah well, guess it's for the best I ain't got the time or resources for a proper meltdown. I'll have to settle for the mini-meltdowns I was programmed for, and keep trying to get better

I too only have time for the occasional mini meltdown, although, should a full blown meltdown come with a complete catharsis, eliminating all chakra blockages and launching me into a full Kundalini awakening, I could probably take the time to embrace it. I just don't have the protocol in place for such an endeavor.

When something huge comes up for healing, it just explodes and there is no decision or chOice other than to deal with it in the present. LIke when tires blow on the freeway. You might not have time for it, but it demands immediate resolution.

I'm sensing the New Energy is blowing many people's seals/gaskets (chakras).

INTENSE!

My best friend from childhood passed 12 years ago. She was raising her young children and really resonated with Carly Simon's song: "I aint got time for the pain"

Oh, what mountains of energies we have moved to prepare for this time. Amazing! Invisibly coordinated teamwork.

For all of us, I say "Congratulations." We made it to this point. It is graduation time, and the next phase is beginning now.

Much appreciation and love for all.

Blessed Be!!!
MM

[ulli]

Posted by Michelle Marie (here)

Posted by gripreaper (here)

Posted by donk (here)

Melt downs can be good. They just don't 'feel' that way.

Maybe that's what I need....a solid meltdown...heh. Ah well, guess it's for the best I ain't got the time or resources for a proper meltdown. I'll have to settle for the mini-meltdowns I was programmed for, and keep trying to get better

I too only have time for the occasional mini meltdown, although, should a full blown meltdown come with a complete catharsis, eliminating all chakra blockages and launching me into a full Kundalini awakening, I could probably take the time to embrace it. I just don't have the protocol in place for such an endeavor.

When something huge comes up for healing, it just explodes and there is no decision or chOice other than to deal with it in the present. LIke when tires blow on the freeway. You might not have time for it, but it demands immediate resolution.

I'm sensing the New Energy is blowing many people's seals/gaskets (chakras).

INTENSE!

My best friend from childhood passed 12 years ago. She was raising her young children and really resonated with Carly Simon's song: "I aint got time for the pain"

Oh, what mountains of energies we have moved to prepare for this time. Amazing! Invisibly coordinated teamwork.

For all of us, I say "Congratulations." We made it to this point. It is graduation time, and the next phase is beginning now.

Much appreciation and love for all.

Blessed Be!!!
MM

Well said....and also be thankful to the generations before us, who suffered while preparing the ground for us....
but who never knew what their suffering was about at all.
No wonder they needed Blind Faith.

[Michelle Marie]

Posted by ulli (here)

Posted by Michelle Marie (here)

Posted by gripreaper (here)

Posted by donk (here)

Melt downs can be good. They just don't 'feel' that way.

Maybe that's what I need....a solid meltdown...heh. Ah well, guess it's for the best I ain't got the time or resources for a proper meltdown. I'll have to settle for the mini-meltdowns I was programmed for, and keep trying to get better

I too only have time for the occasional mini meltdown, although, should a full blown meltdown come with a complete catharsis, eliminating all chakra blockages and launching me into a full Kundalini awakening, I could probably take the time to embrace it. I just don't have the protocol in place for such an endeavor.

When something huge comes up for healing, it just explodes and there is no decision or chOice other than to deal with it in the present. LIke when tires blow on the freeway. You might not have time for it, but it demands immediate resolution.

I'm sensing the New Energy is blowing many people's seals/gaskets (chakras).

INTENSE!

My best friend from childhood passed 12 years ago. She was raising her young children and really resonated with Carly Simon's song: "I aint got time for the pain"

Oh, what mountains of energies we have moved to prepare for this time. Amazing! Invisibly coordinated teamwork.

For all of us, I say "Congratulations." We made it to this point. It is graduation time, and the next phase is beginning now.

Much appreciation and love for all.

Blessed Be!!!
MM

Well said....and also be thankful to the generations before us, who suffered while preparing the ground for us....
but who never knew what their suffering was about at all.
No wonder they needed Blind Faith.

Yes, great reminder. I've participated in family constellation therapy and we are truly working with them and for all of us breaking old patterns. Ooo - I just felt chill bumps in my right leg when I wrote that.

Here's to acknowledging and appreciating our ancestors and all of our former work as ancestors.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Michelle Marie

[donk]

It was late and I forgot to write this...the song at the top I posts features Julian Lennon in it. I understand Kimya Dawson is not to everyone's taste--especially those not her age or growing up in similar way as she often talks about stuff I doubt people outside her "generation" would fully "get"...but she sings of her friends all the time .

ulli--I was wondering if you could tell if it seems like she knows him or he is being used as a character (it's more a tribute)? I know you don't really mention how well you would him anyway, just curious what kind of feeling you get either way.

Happy Easter everyone!!

[RunningDeer]

Hi Ernie. Glad to "see" you. You are another person that flashed in my mind for a couple of days now. Happy your are here and hope your "implants" are bringing many tools and insights to the fore. Ninety days is the "magic" number. You are about 50 days into it now, 55% there. But before that is absolutely possible.

Hugs,
Paula

PS For those unfamiliar with the "Kryon Material," implants are not the same as what's covered in the overall ET community. It's more like an energetic that cancels out all the garbage in the physical, emotional, and spiritual realms.

[CdnSirian]

Blessings to all on this Easter Spring morn! Another brand new day!

Today I am taking to time to de-clutter a couple of little spots, examine how I might not be honoring myself, my soul, and deciding how to work with a dis-ease my body is expressing for me.

I value the inspiration I get from you all.

[ulli]

Posted by donk (here)
It was late and I forgot to write this...the song at the top I posts features Julian Lennon in it. I understand Kimya Dawson is not to everyone's taste--especially those not her age or growing up in similar way as she often talks about stuff I doubt people outside her "generation" would fully "get"...but she sings of her friends all the time .

ulli--I was wondering if you could tell if it seems like she knows him or he is being used as a character (it's more a tribute)? I know you don't really mention how well you would him anyway, just curious what kind of feeling you get either way.

Happy Easter everyone!!

I heard his name in the song, but other than that I have no idea.
And I didn't know him at all; no in person, anyway...
he was friends with a hairdresser who introduced us once, that's all.
And I knew his stepfather only because I was a regular at the night club he owned,
and he would always greet me, while his then girlfriend would invite me to sit at their table...so I was closer to her than I was to Noel.
She was Lady Carina Howard, who later married Sir David Frost, a British TV interviewer.

[Ernie Nemeth]

Melt downs are my way of life.

I don't have much interest in this life on this planet, to be frank about it, at the best of times. When bad times come I just simply shut down. For example these last six weeks or so have been such a time. I am numb from the stress of it and long for my little boring life with the routine I worked so hard to achieve. I have chosen to be the way I am, I have come to realize, and I do not have any compelling reason to change. I've been on the improvement train most of my adult life and I am satisfied with my progress. I was into self-improvement before that phrase was even invented and before there was a section in the bookstores marked "self help". For a while I was upset that others came on board and quickly left me far behind, in my estimation. I helped many leap-frog ahead of me but almost none ever acknowledged my role. That hurt, until I realized that I do not need their pat on the back to be okay with my role of mostly anonymity.

I'm not going to ascend or pass on to the fourth or fifth dimension. I know that now. I did not come here for that reason. When I go home, I'll be in seventh heaven again, or ultimate bliss or merged with Source or whatever you want to call it. Until then enlightenment is just another illusion anyway. I'm tired of this fake game and all the self-induced hypocricy of both sides. We over-think and under-empathize everything.

I am back to being on the sidelines, marginalized until further notice. Because of my rebellious nature I am taking some defiant steps that could lead to more trouble but I will not be dictated to by a society that cannot beat me off the high road. I know what is right and I do not need society's sanction on that point. It wasn't asked for and it is not their right to impose upon my God-given right to freedom and sovereignty. My stance is either throw me in jail or leave me alone, but do not tell me where I can or cannot hang my hat or who I can or cannot associate with. I may have been accused of a crime but I have not yet had my day in court. Until that day I am innocent in the eyes of the law. I am lawfully innocent, not legally so, perhaps - luckily I am not a corporate fiction so legality is of no concern to me.

This whole topic may lead to further action on my part, once I clear my name, that is. We'll see.

As for the here and now. Got up early and played Easter Bunny, hiding little chocolate eggs all about the house. I wish I could go into more details but I must be careful what I say on this public forum.

I typed in my name on google and a list of my Avalon posts showed up. Just a year or two ago my name drew a blank. This notoriety could go to my head, if I cared about such things. But I'm sure all our names are linked to this site, so it's not such an honor to be noticed as it otherwise could be.

In case someone wants to misconstrue this post. I said it like it is, there is no vitriol behind it. I am fine. Even happy to an extent. I've had lots of time to reflect and with a perspective I don't often get to see. It has been very revealing and will take me a long time to assimilate it all. I am actually grateful for this learning opportunity. And I keep in mind I called for it, so there's no one to blame but myself.

Happy Easter everyone.
Hugs

P.S. A special thanks to Lisa for her comment on my message board, it helped.

[ulli]

Posted by CdnSirian (here)
Blessings to all on this Easter Spring morn! Another brand new day!

Today I am taking to time to de-clutter a couple of little spots, examine how I might not be honoring myself, my soul, and deciding how to work with a dis-ease my body is expressing for me.

I value the inspiration I get from you all.

Hey I just noticed...you have 911 posts.
Lets hope that disease turns to ease for you ASAP.
Happy EAS(e)TER

[ulli]

Posted by Ernie Nemeth (here)
Melt downs are my way of life.

I don't have much interest in this life on this planet, to be frank about it, at the best of times. When bad times come I just simply shut down. For example these last six weeks or so have been such a time. I am numb from the stress of it and long for my little boring life with the routine I worked so hard to achieve. I have chosen to be the way I am, I have come to realize, and I do not have any compelling reason to change. I've been on the improvement train most of my adult life and I am satisfied with my progress. I was into self-improvement before that phrase was even invented and before there was a section in the bookstores marked "self help". For a while I was upset that others came on board and quickly left me far behind, in my estimation. I helped many leap-frog ahead of me but almost none ever acknowledged my role. That hurt, until I realized that I do not need their pat on the back to be okay with my role of mostly anonymity.

I'm not going to ascend or pass on to the fourth or fifth dimension. I know that now. I did not come here for that reason. When I go home, I'll be in seventh heaven again, or ultimate bliss or merged with Source or whatever you want to call it. Until then enlightenment is just another illusion anyway. I'm tired of this fake game and all the self-induced hypocricy of both sides. We over-think and under-empathize everything.

I am back to being on the sidelines, marginalized until further notice. Because of my rebellious nature I am taking some defiant steps that could lead to more trouble but I will not be dictated to by a society that cannot beat me off the high road. I know what is right and I do not need society's sanction on that point. It wasn't asked for and it is not their right to impose upon my God-given right to freedom and sovereignty. My stance is either throw me in jail or leave me alone, but do not tell me where I can or cannot hang my hat or who I can or cannot associate with. I may have been accused of a crime but I have not yet had my day in court. Until that day I am innocent in the eyes of the law. I am lawfully innocent, not legally so, perhaps - luckily I am not a corporate fiction so legality is of no concern to me.

This whole topic may lead to further action on my part, once I clear my name, that is. We'll see.

As for the here and now. Got up early and played Easter Bunny, hiding little chocolate eggs all about the house. I wish I could go into more details but I must be careful what I say on this public forum.

I typed in my name on google and a list of my Avalon posts showed up. Just a year or two ago my name drew a blank. This notoriety could go to my head, if I cared about such things. But I'm sure all our names are linked to this site, so it's not such an honor to be noticed as it otherwise could be.

In case someone wants to misconstrue this post. I said it like it is, there is no vitriol behind it. I am fine. Even happy to an extent. I've had lots of time to reflect and with a perspective I don't often get to see. It has been very revealing and will take me a long time to assimilate it all. I am actually grateful for this learning opportunity. And I keep in mind I called for it, so there's no one to blame but myself.

Happy Easter everyone.
Hugs

P.S. A special thanks to Lisa for her comment on my message board, it helped.

I will now comment on your message board, too, if it helps.