The Higher Self and transcendent experience, including OBEs

[Finefeather]

Posted by teradactyl (here)
where attention goes, energy flows....

Very wise words there dear teradactyl
especially when you consider that attention leads to thought...and thought is the creator of all things 'good' and 'bad' in our lives. There is also an old saying..."you are what you think" which is often encountered in life when we meet people who say a lot but do nothing.
Take care
Ray

[Finefeather]

Posted by TraineeHuman (here)
One of the many difficulties is the fact that ultimately, free will itself is an illusion. If you could know the best possible way you could behave and be, then if you should "freely choose" to always be the best you could be, your behavior would not involve any free choice at all, because you would be totally surrendered to being the best you possible. On the other hand, if you tried to exercise free will as dramatically and often as possible, most of your choices would be bad ones because we never individually have even a fraction enough information to base any of our choices on.

TH
This is very beautiful stuff man...thanks...truth at it's best.
All the thousands of thoughts flood my mind of all the little egos making their free will choices in life in a free for all state of chaos.
Free will is an inner code of behavior or knowing what is right and what is wrong...choice almost becomes an obsolete word and even old outdated instincts turn from fighting your way out of difficulty, to a need to seek peace and love.
Thank you for your wisdom and much love to you.
Ray

[TraineeHuman]

Posted by AwakeInADream (here)
I mentioned last time I phased that I meditated for an extended period before hand, but I neglected to mention the nature of this meditation, which might just be important since I'm getting results from it. What I did was to do the 'feeling the aliveness' exercise and extend my awareness into the room, and then I extended this awareness further filling the world and even the universe. To realize that 'All That Is' feels just as great to be alive as I do, is a little like perceiving the unity of the enlightenment experience, without having to actually become enlightened. Knowing that unconditional love pervades every atom of the universe and every life-form in it, really puts this human ego drama into perspective. Everything is as it should be right now, it only remains to be seen by everyone else. I think this is why I've been walking around with a big smile on my face lately. Nothing in the physical/ego world can even cause a ripple in this larger underlying reality.

Great. Let’s get it really, really clear what you must have done. You must have in one stroke emptied out your mind, of most of what you knew. You must have found the “off” switch to your mind and used it for a while.

People keep asking for a “method” to get to the HS. But any method would be something the mind would control and put into action. The only “methods” that will work here are consciousness methods. And they all involve jumping into the unknown. The mind’s methods are always something that is the known. They’ll never ever work, because they’re the opposite of diving totally into the unknown.

Why? Because you can’t fill a cup that’s already full. Not even if you want to fill it with the most glorious, fullest truth. There’s no room. Or as the saying attributed to Jesus goes, you can’t pour new wine into an old wineskin, because the old wineskin can’t hold anything new. I’d say the process of emptying yourself in order to receive is a very, very huge part of what awareness – or waking up -- is all about.

I’ll continue in my next post.

[Chester]

This post should have not been made in this thread. Apologies

[Chester]

nor this post

[TraineeHuman]

Posted by justoneman (here)
I cannot give anyone any advice, but I am using my very best discernment with regards to who/what I may be encountering when I go astral. And this includes the so called "above lower astral" as this is where it is possible wolves in sheep's clothing might be found.

Chester, when I met you OB I could see you were brilliant in various ways, including in your heart. But you also seemed to have very heavy, dulled energies. Unfortunately I don’t believe it’s plausible that you’ve ever had any experience/being in the divine worlds, the worlds of Source. Just because you’ve had a significant glimpse of a formless world or two, that’s a far, far, far lower level of reality than Source, I’m afraid. I strongly suspect that whoever you quoted has zero direct knowledge of the divine worlds also.

I have, on the other hand. There’s nothing to be paranoid about there. No wolves in sheep's clothing. And (only?) by working from the top downwards, so to speak, one can actually gain a balanced perspective of what there is and isn’t to be paranoid about, the deeper one descends into the worlds such as the one we are living in.

Unfortunately, many Christians use the word “God” as if they were talking about some buddy down the street. Even though they use that word, they are probably indulging in pure fantasy – though they may also well have some vague sense of their HS, and maybe they’re trying to grasp at that and suppose it has something to do with Source.

If you're interested in full sovereignty of your own soul, why aren't you working on communicating with your HS like everyone else here is, and in a similar way? Personally I would strongly prefer seeing the paranoia in another thread, not this one. Everybody knows how to find the Horus-Ra thread, which is specifically devoted to the exploration of such paranoia.

(There are reasons why anyone extensively involved in scientology is likely to encounter at least some if not many black magic phenomena. Suffice it to say that Ron Hubbard lived in the same house as Alasteir Crowley for I think over ten years (and reportedly slept with his wife during much of that period). As a result, scientology slightly incorporates various principles from black magic, which will attract black energies like bees to honey.)

I believe my last paragraph is off the topic of this thread.

[Orph]

I just want to thank TraineeHuman and Finefeather both for all the information they have posted here in this thread. It has been immensely helpful to me. And all the questions and comments that everyone else add are also of benefit to not only me, but I'm sure to the many many other people who read this forum but aren't members. Thank you to all.

[Reinhard]

Yes, TH, I highly appreciate your (and Ray's) clarification.........it could take some pressure off of people who might be leaning toward perfection -- like myself.

Posted by TraineeHuman (here)
To everyone who’s only ever had one partial or full OBE, including very partial if you like, let me say clearly that I believe it’s not so important for you to have more such experiences. Not at all. What’s important is for you to experience your HS. In all my experience, that automatically becomes a type of OBE in a higher dimension anyway (sixth dimension or higher) once you become more familiar with it. You don’t even have to try then. (I trust some of Ray's remarks have greatly helped you appreciate why this might be so.)
Problem is, my HS seems to, still, be having fun playing hide-and-seek --- from my 'brain's' point of view: it would like to understand and have 'reasonable' conversations with HS.
I hope people like shipo, Raymondo, Haulinbananas, nevermnd, Eram, Orph, maybe OOO (Aleksandra), probably Reinhard, maybe Freed Fox, maybe wolfgaze, Ron Mauer, maybe Shamz, Deneon, DeDukshyn, maybe seeker1972, Smoke Me a Kipper, maybe Strat, G.Deluca, and misfit312 all appreciate that I’m being absolutely serious and transparent here.

Maybe this is a good spot for me to throw in a mention about the Feeling the Aliveness exercise. Actually, “Feeling the HS” would be an equally accurate title for it. No exaggeration. It’s ridiculously simple to do. Maybe the biggest hurdle is that because I’m calling it an exercise, most of you are thinking to yourselves that it must be hard. It’s not hard at all. It’s totally natural. I must confess I threw it in quite early in this thread because I was hoping the penny would drop and quite a number of you would learn to do it. I was hoping many of you folk, including everyone listed in the previous paragraph, would just do it. I mean, it’s easier than falling off a log. And then I could talk to you all about how you’re really already in the beginning stages of traveling in 6D! I’m absolutely floored that only AwakeInADream and teradactyl seem to have picked the ball up. Funny how they’re both getting somewhere… (Of course, Ray, kintun, probably Libico, and some others certainly don’t need to do it. But what about the rest of you, may I ask?)----- trying, practising.... of course.

I mean, wouldn’t you like to have a super easy way to start becoming aware sometimes that you really do have two consciousnesses, one of which is your HS?
Sure!!!
I hesitate to mention the challenge of facing your ego in the same post as I mention the above exercise. Please don’t imagine that our ego can sabotage that exercise for you. I’ve ever so carefully chosen from over half a lifetime’s repertoire of exercises to give you one that’s ego-proof.

But anyway, I’d like to say I don’t consider the recent discussion of the challenge for teradactyl of overcoming the ego (in relation to her mother) the least bit irrelevant to helping people develop it all further. It’s a hell of a good example of what it means the challenge of facing your ego means. Maybe teradactyl thinks it’s just a hell example, but there you are. On second thoughts, I’ll save my further comments on this for another post.

Thank you ALL for participating in this thread in such a open and loving manner.

[TraineeHuman]

Posted by AwakeInADream (here)
To realize that 'All That Is' feels just as great to be alive as I do, is a little like perceiving the unity of the enlightenment experience, without having to actually become enlightened. Knowing that unconditional love pervades every atom of the universe and every life-form in it, really puts this human ego drama into perspective. Everything is as it should be right now, it only remains to be seen by everyone else. I think this is why I've been walking around with a big smile on my face lately. Nothing in the physical/ego world can even cause a ripple in this larger underlying reality.

From your description, you may have had a briefish glimpse of Source or you may not. Either way, Awake, what’s important right now is that your experience was enough to bring HS in continuously for at least … a day? Or however long it is you’ve had that smile on your face. I hope you can make use of the sun while it’s shining so brightly, to make creative changes in you and your life for the better.

It’s paradoxical. From the HS’s point of view, on the one hand everything in the world is perfect – even all the war, the corruption, the bad breath. That’s because the sum total of everything that’s positive strongly outweighs the sum total of what’s negative. Equally, the HS’s point of view is that such perfection can and should be made even better, much better. Well, what else is there for us to do that’s worthwhile and urgently needed other than that? The HS’s view of life, the world and everything is absolutely full of paradoxes. I would say they are part of the great cosmic joke.

More about formlessness. In mathematics they use variables. Like x, for example. If you say: “An ideal partner for me is x,” that sentence as it stands is incomplete in its meaning, but it does have some meaning. If we replace x with the name of some person, then it’s a complete statement. Then we can wonder whether it’s a true or a false one.

Until we do make it complete, it’s actually formless, folks. The difference between the formless worlds and the physical world is that in (or relative to) those worlds, many formless things become complete just as they are already. The HS is crammed full of positive things, and they’re all formless! That’s why the positive will eventually – very long term – overcome all the negative. The positive is so adaptable it simply flows to wherever it’s needed – except it won’t ever force itself on anyone or anything.

The higher you go, the more positivity dominates. But it’s anything but boring. Boredom doesn’t even exist in higher dimensions. Also, the higher you go, the more rich it makes a person in themselves, the more new to themselves than before, broken open, blown out and sounded out by a thawing wind.

[TraineeHuman]

Posted by AwakeInADream (here)
I used this [Benthov+Drunvalo technique] to cause my whole body to pulse and vibrate at the same rate as the low vibratory sound I hear at the back of my head, and it had some rather odd (undescribable) effects on my consciousness, like some dramatic change very nearly happened.

That low-pitched sound inside your head? I suspect I know what it is, but I’m reluctant to label it for you, so I won’t give you that label. This way, you’ll be able to explore that sound further, if you wish, without having some box to keep that sound in that makes sure it’s part of “the known”.

I’d enjoy being able to explain how what you did there and what you did with the Sun’s energy all relates in a certain way to the annual Levitation Ritual in Bhutan. There they use music to levitate a humungous boulder many meters into the air. But no, it’s much better for you to explore what’s unknown, or half-unknown. Everything that’s formless has some unknown side to it, so it’s in your interest to get more comfortable with tolerating the unknown.

The answer was shining on my face. I saw the Sun's rays and felt the suns heat and sensed the vibration that occurred and when I compared it to the vibration in my head I knew that it was not the same. It is a natural human ability to be able to detect that a low C on a piano is the same note as a C played one or two (or any number of) octaves above, so the principle is the same when comparing the light, heat and general 'feeling' of the sun to the sound in my head. Anyway, so the Sun felt really great, which gave me a better idea for a meditation. To fill up my whole body and resonate with the light of the Sun.

I did this meditation for around an hour when I got home, and right towards the end I start to feel like I could phase and leave my body, but I didn't want to just phase into the living room again. I wanted to go outside my house where it was still sunny, and just at that very moment, in a trance like state, as the thought 'Sun' passed through my mind, a voice seemed to answer the thought. A female voice spoke the (still rather cryptic) words "We started a new topic on the Sun in January 1994"??? So that put a stop to my phase attempt yesterday at least. I have to get up and write that down, all the time wondering who she was and what could that statement mean. ... The date was very specific too, I Googled it and found that there were some strong solar storms that month that caused two Canadian satellites to malfunction, and in the US there was a rare annular eclipse that caused the Sun to appear like a ring of fire because the Moon didn't quite cover it all. So what does "new topic on the Sun" mean? Are the Guides and GA's using the Sun to beam new information at us?

I don't know anything about that date. I do know for a fact that, for example, everybody's personal feng shui directions got changed on a certain date in late January 1998. Then "the Archangel Michael" had a change of incumbent on December 21st last, and much rubbish got swept away too in the astral and etheric. But I do know that there are specific dates like that when higher beings introduce big changes.

Pretty soon my whole body is buzzing, especially at the back of my head, even the room seems to buzz a little. Then I get this strong smell of a swimming pool, I feel water starting to get into my mouth, so I stop fast and have this realization. I think 'I've got everything I need in place to leave my body, all the right things are happening. The only thing that stops me from leaving is a childhood fear of water and drowning.' Personally I'm not even consciously aware that I was afraid of water as a child, but presumably before I could swim there must have been some fear. Anyway, then I seemed to reassure myself that it wasn't possible to drown if I left my body because there's no water out there.

Could it also be possible that for some reason you had fear of the HS? A large body of stillish water is a universal symbol for the HS.

[Chester]

Posted by TraineeHuman (here)
If you're interested in full sovereignty of your own soul, why aren't you working on communicating with your HS like everyone else here is, and in a similar way? Personally I would strongly prefer seeing the paranoia in another thread, not this one. Everybody knows how to find the Horus-Ra thread, which is specifically devoted to the exploration of such paranoia.

I have been in direct, verbal communication with my higher self for several dozen years. The name this higher self gave me is controversial and thus has been the root of my dilemma during this time. I have revealed this to Ray in a private mail. I have no problem if Ray reveals this to you.

I now have the feeling I was simply deluded and of course, now feel pretty bad about all the ruckus I have caused. I deleted my offensive posts earlier before I caught this post of yours TH.

Because I never know what I might say or do tomorrow anymore, I wish I could apologize, but the apology would likely hold no weight.

Anyways... for what its worth, I apologize to you and Ray and the others here and readers.

Chester

[Finefeather]

Posted by justoneman (here)

Posted by TraineeHuman (here)
If you're interested in full sovereignty of your own soul, why aren't you working on communicating with your HS like everyone else here is, and in a similar way? Personally I would strongly prefer seeing the paranoia in another thread, not this one. Everybody knows how to find the Horus-Ra thread, which is specifically devoted to the exploration of such paranoia.

I have been in direct, verbal communication with my higher self for several dozen years. The name this higher self gave me is controversial and thus has been the root of my dilemma during this time. I have revealed this to Ray in a private mail. I have no problem if Ray reveals this to you.

I now have the feeling I was simply deluded and of course, now feel pretty bad about all the ruckus I have caused. I deleted my offensive posts earlier before I caught this post of yours TH.

Because I never know what I might say or do tomorrow anymore, I wish I could apologize, but the apology would likely hold no weight.

Anyways... for what its worth, I apologize to you and Ray and the others here and readers.

Chester

Dear Chester
Thank you for your change of heart and...most certainly...your apology holds weight...do you for one moment think we have been fooling around on this thread

Who is not able to forgive and to open their arms and hearts to another? I am quite aware of your long struggle to break free from the bonds of inner conflict.

I welcome you when you are ready to a world of joy and peace and love. Every human stands in your position in one or another incarnation and it takes courage, patience and love to finally surrender your life to the Higher Self.

The road is not easy...and many a day we are confronted by the power of the material world...we gain a bit here and lose a bit there...we are the children of life...and as we become wiser we learn to stay more in the light and reject the darkness which has kept us in a world of pain and despair for so long.

Thank you again...and my love to you
Ray

[TraineeHuman]

Posted by justoneman (here)
I have been in direct, verbal communication with my higher self for several dozen years. ...
Because I never know what I might say or do tomorrow anymore, I wish I could apologize, but the apology would likely hold no weight....
Chester

Chester, of course your apology holds weight. You have many likeable qualities -- a truly brilliant intellect, imagination, humor, great courage, awareness or experience of a range of metaphysical things and phenomena, and above all a kind of iron passion for breaking free, even if the ego may still have misappropriated that. Occasionally in the past I have been in a small way like you in being too vulnerable and open, in a wrong way.

Everyone is in communication with their HS, though the words are really your mind's "translation" rather than the words of the HS. Although they're in communication, the challenge is to learn to hear and indeed be the HS continually, rather than drowning out its Light most of the time with "static".

And Chester, in my experience everybody can break free of the negativity -- provided they're not physically addicted to some drug -- if they just powerfully decide they've suffered enough. The "static" is ultimately always suffering, even if superficially it may be pleasure or pleasurable. None of us were meant to suffer so much. Of all people, surely you appreciate that! Surely it's time for you to say, like Ron and teradactyl, that you've seen enough suffering and you now want to focus on what's positive and filled with life-force. You can do that by not giving the dark stuff your support. Shun it, Act as though it didn't exist, and I promise it will grow smaller and smaller.

[TraineeHuman]

Posted by teradactyl (here)
to be honest, there is very little love from me to her, which is due to the wedge she has put between us due to the hate she spews towards me behind everyone elses back. im the only one to hear her hate towards me, as she does it privately. im on the verge of no love at all, which is sad to say. and then nice like nothing happened in person, on the phone (etc) the next minute/day. this updown updown is what i cannot handle. at all. i have also gone through long time periods of not talking to her at all.

teradactyl, we really do choose our parents before we get born. I happen to have a very detailed memory of choosing my own parents out of a number of candidates before I got conceived. We choose them because they can teach us precisely those emotional lessons we identified as what we were thirsting to learn most about before we were born this time.

Chester is spot on when on the one hand he calls his (ex-?)wife Lucifera on the grounds that she thoroughly proved that was her “true” name, yet equally, on the other hand he acknowledges her as his greatest teacher and at some deeper level truly his truest friend. I wish everyone had his level of insight in that area. Our HSs set up a chess game – make that a very rough football game – using our egos as the bit players.

I believe – and know – that we were originally meant to mostly enjoy the whole drama. It’s only because the human race is temporarily in a “fallen” state that we don’t enjoy it these days – until we reconnect more fully into our HS, and reconcile with our dark side. Some of the most influential gurus have said we shouldn’t take life too seriously. What they mean is that we need to get to the detached point of view of your HS, so that you know you have a second consciousness in you that’s kind of laughing at the whole silly movie. We need to learn the art of stepping back without fully disengaging. If you are feeling, say, anger at someone, then in that moment you’ve shrunken who you are down to that anger. What you need to do is to not only see but feel the bigger picture. Who you really are is far, far bigger than that emotional reaction of anger. Your HS is right there, in the self-esteem and self-forgiveness and acceptance that the anger has pushed back and out of the way. Just feel the self-esteem and self-forgiveness strongly enough, and that anger won’t be able to compete with that – with you.

In my own case, I chose a father who was a decent, intelligent man who out of necessity had made a living from trading in the black market during world war two, and he had had all the guts and the cunning and the strength to do that easily, despite the danger involved. But by the time I was born he and my mum were so in conflict they were in effect at war. They had even agreed to have me as a child with the purpose that my existence would bring them back together. The day I was born I intuitively picked up that “role”. It felt nauseating beyond belief to me. That’s the way it works. What you most resist or hate, that’s what you get. If not straight away, then the next time around. My number one issue was to learn about conflict. I then spent over half my life being continually bamboozled by the lack of harmony that seemed to be under every bush in this society and that I knew was existentially just not right. But that was my thing – I came here from places where that intensity of conflict simply doesn’t exist.

So it might be more profitable for you, teradcatyl, to make a list of all the qualities of your mother that you dislike. Then go through the list and see how many of those qualities it’s remotely possible that you have, at least in someone else’s eyes. After that, check how many items on the list are things that come from outside of the kind of world you imagine as acceptable – such as conflict was to me when I got born.

To continue with the story of “me”. My mother was a very strong person and my father found her so tough to handle he eventually became an alcoholic. As a result, from age six I couldn’t talk to him much because he usually wasn’t around. When I did get to talk to him, he had me pegged as an “ally” of my mother’s in what was by then a kind of war. I rarely managed to have a real conversation with him. I remember one evening when I was nine he took me to the city centre because he said there were things there my mother had kept from me but there were important things to learn there about how to live to the fullest. That was kind of a response to my desire to have a real conversation with him. But it was only a one-off.

By the time I was in my late teens I was kind of hypersensitive about my mother’s attempts to interfere in my life. I believe every young person experiences basically the same script here. This kind of escalated over time, so it became essential to me to live away from her, and even to move to a different city for a while. It wasn’t until she was in her mid-sixties that I seemed to be able to talk to her in a “normal” fashion. You’re not alone, teradactyl. The script is pretty similar for everyone. The more intelligently and awarely you can handle it, though, the more some of that wisdom will filter into the common consciousness of the whole of humanity, as humanity continues to evolve spiritually.

[TraineeHuman]

Here are some quotes from Gary Zukav. Gary is an interesting man for a number of reasons. Some years ago he wrote a book called The Dancing Wu-Li Masters, which is the best book anyone has written explaining, to a reader who knows nothing about physics, how "mystical" the foundations and concepts of quantum theory really are, or were as of a few decades ago.

Since then Gary has written books about "soul" this and "soul" that. I'm not sure how fully he appreciates that the ancient Eastern meditation traditions were themselves altogether "soul" psychologies/ways of life. What's also interesting is that it's only been in the last ten or maybe fifteen years that in Western applied psychology we've seen the sudden rise and rise to prominence of what's called person-centered psychology, but could be called "soul psychology" with equal accuracy. But Gary's been at it for much longer than that. One example of the kinds of mottos that accompanied the early rise of person-centered psychology was that it was seeking to achieve what the nineteenth century Jewish theologian Martin Buber called "I-Thou" relationships rather than "I-it" relationships. Anyway, here are some quotes from Gary:

“When you have an emotional reaction to what you see, you are judging. That is your signal that you have an issue inside of yourself - with yourself - not with the other person. If you react to evil, look inside yourself for the very thing that so agitates you, and you will find it. If it were not there, you will simply discern, act appropriately, and move on.”

“Humbleness, forgiveness, clarity and love are the dynamics of freedom. They are the foundations of authentic power.”

“Trust allows you to give. Giving is abundant. As you give so it shall be given to you. If you give with judgment, limitation and stinginess, that is what you will create in your life - judgment, limitation, and stinginess.”

“Ask and you shall receive" is the rule, but you must learn how to ask and how to receive”

“A power struggle collapses when you withdraw your energy from it. Power struggles become uninteresting to you when you change your intention from winning to learning about yourself.”

“The spring wakes us, nurtures us and revitalizes us. How often does your spring come? If you are a prisoner of the calendar, it comes once a year. If you are creating authentic power, it comes frequently, or very frequently. It comes each time you recognize a frightened part of your personality as a part of yourself that you were born to challenge and leave behind. It comes when you realize that a painful emotion (such as anger, jealousy, fear or resentment) is not who you are, but a message to pay attention to what you need to change in yourself in order to move into your full potential.”

[TraineeHuman]

“When you interact with another, an illusion is part of this dynamic.
This illusion allows each soul to perceive what it needs to understands in order to heal.”

“An authentically empowered person is humble. This does not mean the false humility of one who stoops to be with those who are below him or her.
It is the inclusiveness of one who responds to the beauty of each soul.
It is the harmlessness of one who treasures, honors, and reveres life in all its forms.”

“I have come to the conclusion that until I find and heal the fears in me that I do not know about, and those that I do know about, I will not be able to contribute much that will not be part of the many challenges we face – such as brutality, poverty, drug abuse, child abuse, abuse of the environment, and abuse of women, to name a few.”

“Evil needs to be understood for what it is: the dynamic of the absence of Light.
It is not something that one should prepare to battle, to run from, or to outlaw.”

More from Gary Zukav.

[soleil]

Posted by TraineeHuman (here)

Posted by teradactyl (here)
to be honest, there is very little love from me to her, which is due to the wedge she has put between us due to the hate she spews towards me behind everyone elses back. im the only one to hear her hate towards me, as she does it privately. im on the verge of no love at all, which is sad to say. and then nice like nothing happened in person, on the phone (etc) the next minute/day. this updown updown is what i cannot handle. at all. i have also gone through long time periods of not talking to her at all.

teradactyl, we really do choose our parents before we get born. I happen to have a very detailed memory of choosing my own parents out of a number of candidates before I got conceived. We choose them because they can teach us precisely those emotional lessons we identified as what we were thirsting to learn most about before we were born this time.

Chester is spot on when on the one hand he calls his (ex-?)wife Lucifera on the grounds that she thoroughly proved that was her “true” name, yet equally, on the other hand he acknowledges her as his greatest teacher and at some deeper level truly his truest friend. I wish everyone had his level of insight in that area. Our HSs set up a chess game – make that a very rough football game – using our egos as the bit players.

I believe – and know – that we were originally meant to mostly enjoy the whole drama. It’s only because the human race is temporarily in a “fallen” state that we don’t enjoy it these days – until we reconnect more fully into our HS, and reconcile with our dark side. Some of the most influential gurus have said we shouldn’t take life too seriously. What they mean is that we need to get to the detached point of view of your HS, so that you know you have a second consciousness in you that’s kind of laughing at the whole silly movie. We need to learn the art of stepping back without fully disengaging. If you are feeling, say, anger at someone, then in that moment you’ve shrunken who you are down to that anger. What you need to do is to not only see but feel the bigger picture. Who you really are is far, far bigger than that emotional reaction of anger. Your HS is right there, in the self-esteem and self-forgiveness and acceptance that the anger has pushed back and out of the way. Just feel the self-esteem and self-forgiveness strongly enough, and that anger won’t be able to compete with that – with you.

In my own case, I chose a father who was a decent, intelligent man who out of necessity had made a living from trading in the black market during world war two, and he had had all the guts and the cunning and the strength to do that easily, despite the danger involved. But by the time I was born he and my mum were so in conflict they were in effect at war. They had even agreed to have me as a child with the purpose that my existence would bring them back together. The day I was born I intuitively picked up that “role”. It felt nauseating beyond belief to me. That’s the way it works. What you most resist or hate, that’s what you get. If not straight away, then the next time around. My number one issue was to learn about conflict. I then spent over half my life being continually bamboozled by the lack of harmony that seemed to be under every bush in this society and that I knew was existentially just not right. But that was my thing – I came here from places where that intensity of conflict simply doesn’t exist.

So it might be more profitable for you, teradcatyl, to make a list of all the qualities of your mother that you dislike. Then go through the list and see how many of those qualities it’s remotely possible that you have, at least in someone else’s eyes. After that, check how many items on the list are things that come from outside of the kind of world you imagine as acceptable – such as conflict was to me when I got born.

To continue with the story of “me”. My mother was a very strong person and my father found her so tough to handle he eventually became an alcoholic. As a result, from age six I couldn’t talk to him much because he usually wasn’t around. When I did get to talk to him, he had me pegged as an “ally” of my mother’s in what was by then a kind of war. I rarely managed to have a real conversation with him. I remember one evening when I was nine he took me to the city centre because he said there were things there my mother had kept from me but there were important things to learn there about how to live to the fullest. That was kind of a response to my desire to have a real conversation with him. But it was only a one-off.

By the time I was in my late teens I was kind of hypersensitive about my mother’s attempts to interfere in my life. I believe every young person experiences basically the same script here. This kind of escalated over time, so it became essential to me to live away from her, and even to move to a different city for a while. It wasn’t until she was in her mid-sixties that I seemed to be able to talk to her in a “normal” fashion. You’re not alone, teradactyl. The script is pretty similar for everyone. The more intelligently and awarely you can handle it, though, the more some of that wisdom will filter into the common consciousness of the whole of humanity, as humanity continues to evolve spiritually.

thanks TH. i appreciate this post more than you know. its really good to know, that even moving away sometimes is the right choice even though it seems as though it isnt. sometimes in order to be in harmony, one must leave disharmony behind. at least for a little while.

[soleil]

Posted by TraineeHuman (here)
Here are some quotes from Gary Zukav. Gary is an interesting man for a number of reasons. Some years ago he wrote a book called The Dancing Wu-Li Masters, which is the best book anyone has written explaining, to a reader who knows nothing about physics, how "mystical" the foundations and concepts of quantum theory really are, or were as of a few decades ago.

Since then Gary has written books about "soul" this and "soul" that. I'm not sure how fully he appreciates that the ancient Eastern meditation traditions were themselves altogether "soul" psychologies/ways of life. What's also interesting is that it's only been in the last ten or maybe fifteen years that in Western applied psychology we've seen the sudden rise and rise to prominence of what's called person-centered psychology, but could be called "soul psychology" with equal accuracy. But Gary's been at it for much longer than that. One example of the kinds of mottos that accompanied the early rise of person-centered psychology was that it was seeking to achieve what the nineteenth century Jewish theologian Martin Buber called "I-Thou" relationships rather than "I-it" relationships. Anyway, here are some quotes from Gary:

“When you have an emotional reaction to what you see, you are judging. That is your signal that you have an issue inside of yourself - with yourself - not with the other person. If you react to evil, look inside yourself for the very thing that so agitates you, and you will find it. If it were not there, you will simply discern, act appropriately, and move on.”

“Humbleness, forgiveness, clarity and love are the dynamics of freedom. They are the foundations of authentic power.”

“Trust allows you to give. Giving is abundant. As you give so it shall be given to you. If you give with judgment, limitation and stinginess, that is what you will create in your life - judgment, limitation, and stinginess.”

“Ask and you shall receive" is the rule, but you must learn how to ask and how to receive”

“A power struggle collapses when you withdraw your energy from it. Power struggles become uninteresting to you when you change your intention from winning to learning about yourself.”

“The spring wakes us, nurtures us and revitalizes us. How often does your spring come? If you are a prisoner of the calendar, it comes once a year. If you are creating authentic power, it comes frequently, or very frequently. It comes each time you recognize a frightened part of your personality as a part of yourself that you were born to challenge and leave behind. It comes when you realize that a painful emotion (such as anger, jealousy, fear or resentment) is not who you are, but a message to pay attention to what you need to change in yourself in order to move into your full potential.”

bang, this is my next lesson.

[AwakeInADream]

Posted by TraineeHuman (here)

Posted by AwakeInADream (here)
I used this [Benthov+Drunvalo technique] to cause my whole body to pulse and vibrate at the same rate as the low vibratory sound I hear at the back of my head, and it had some rather odd (undescribable) effects on my consciousness, like some dramatic change very nearly happened.

That low-pitched sound inside your head? I suspect I know what it is, but I’m reluctant to label it for you, so I won’t give you that label. This way, you’ll be able to explore that sound further, if you wish, without having some box to keep that sound in that makes sure it’s part of “the known”.

Hi TraineeHuman!

I never mentioned the other two tones. There are three in all. There is a very low vibration at the back of my head where the neck meets the skull, and then there are two very high pitched tones(tinnitus like) at the sides of my head above and forward from my ears. All three tones are different and they form a kind of triangle.

This reminds me of something that happened to me last year when I used to still have panic attacks, but I didn't realize at the time that it might be related. Unusually I woke up whilst having a panic attack (which never happens, it still doesn't make sense), and I called out silently for help. Immediately I found relief from the panic, and because I was still mostly asleep I was able to see a vision hovering over me of a triangle with a circle on each corner. Somehow I knew that each circle contained a certain frequency, and that together they formed a chord that when sounded would put an end to all fear forever in the listener.

So foolishly, at the time I took this quite literally and thought about how I would go about discovering this magical chord that could end suffering. As if it could be done by technology...

Now I realize that that vision was actually a representation of what was happening inside my head, and that all I have to do in order to banish fear forever from myself (which to a large extent I have already done), is to bring these three tones into harmony with each other. I did notice last week when these tones got suddenly louder, there was a kind of panic feeling there with them for around an hour. I was panicking without panicking if you know what I mean?, kind of distanced from it...

So I was experimenting last night with these tones (mainly the low vibration), and I was deliberately intensifying them whilst laying down meditating. After about half an hour my body temperature starts to increase to the point that I have to get up and check that I hadn't left the heating on. So that's one thing they do, I guess....the other thing though was very odd indeed...

Next thing I fall asleep and go into the strangest lucid dream I've ever had (I've said that before LOL). To start off with I see my Father in the after life and I can hear him talking very clearly, every word crystal clear. Only he doesn't know I'm listening in. He's there drowning his sorrows (he was an alcoholic) and he's telling all of his troubles to another man that's there. They are both sat down, and this other man keeps pouring him more drinks and encouraging him to speak and let it all out. Now my Dad can't see me, but this other guy is acting really shifty, he knows I'm there and at one point he comes up to me and whispers something nasty into my ear to let me know it. I feel a really sinister presence from him and get the sense that he's manipulating my Dad, and persuading him to drink more. It was like he was my Fathers internal voice, pushing him on, and I got the feeling that this man was the 'Demon Drink' personified, perhaps even 'addiction' itself. A real comic book villian.

The whole dream went on for a very long time (maybe over an hour) and so the memory of most of it has faded, but generally things got darker and darker from there on in. It seemed to me that as the dream went on I saw the ego personified in every conceivable way in grotesque detail by hundreds of different characters. This could easily have been my worst nightmare if I didn't feel so empowered and in control, and this does reflect how my new perspective in life has me somewhat distanced from the world of ego and unaffected by it. I think I'm becoming the Higher Self more and more, but the take over is so subtle and gradual that I'm hardly noticing it....

Anyway, the next thing that happened was that suddenly this whole terrible scene turned into a real life video game (like 'Grand Theft Auto') and I was going around shooting all of these characters. Even though it was absolutely real, I wasn't actually shooting them with a gun. I was like a child at play pointing my finger at each one in turn, "Bang! Bang!, You're Dead!", and at that they all dutifully fell over and died. O.K. here's the strange bit. I encountered an 'end of level boss' next, in this hyper-real video game simulation, and it was a woman in a bikini, at least 12 feet tall, but it was obvious that she also had male genetalia (which the bikini bottoms didn't hide so well). At this point I was starting to feel overwhelmed by all of these enemies, so I called upon my own power and instantly the whole thing stopped. Game over, I win.

The dream itself carried on a while, more peaceful, but it gets hazy. The only other thing I remember, that unnerved me, was that I saw myself as a woman. Not just some aspect of myself, it was me, the complete personality, as a woman. This unsettled me far more than anything else I'd seen, but I'm not sure why it should. It was very unexpected. I figured (perhaps naively) that I had been a man during all of my incarnations, but I guess that just going by the numbers I must have been a woman at some point too. Why does it make me so uncomfortable?
(I guess it's the ego that's really bothered, not the real me...The ego's last stand. LOL)

So it seems to me that intensifying the low buzzing sound in my head, had the effect (rather like a toilet) of very powerfully flushing a ton of garbage out of my head.(some of which stuck to the bowl) And to think that I've been ignoring that buzz for a very long time (years).

[TraineeHuman]

Unfortunately, the HS is quite impersonal. I have been strongly influenced by that fact from an impressionable age. Nearly all my posts in this and other threads have been rather impersonal. That’s because being personal, in many if not most senses of that word, happens to be pure ego. I appreciate that our culture and society trap most people in the false myth that the purpose of one’s life is to be very, very strongly attached to and stuck in and believe in and worship whatever is personal, whatever is dramatic. (Only the ego dramatizes anything.)

I guess that infatuation with the personal is linked with certain beliefs to do with individuality. I’m certainly not against anyone’s finding and expressing their individuality. As a matter of fact, in various areas of my life at various times I’ve had to work on how I expressed myself because I’m naturally a lateral thinker and lateral imaginer and feeler and liver. For instance, for the first two-and-a-half years of my membership of the earlier Camelot-Avalon Forums, most of my best posts weren’t responded to and received no thanks or were only thanked by Lord Sidious (who used to be the most frequent poster and was always intelligent enough to get my point). A big theme in my life (but not any more) used to be having to be constantly on the lookout that I was so “different” I was being misunderstood. Sometimes I was a nightmare for my teachers in primary school and high school, though more often I learnt how to be very helpful to them instead. But one example of a false belief regarding individuality, which I’ve mentioned in a recent post, is the belief that ultimately we have such a thing as free will (in the way most people think of it). I’m sorry, but the truth is the truth. It’s not “my” truth.

Again, people subscribe to all sorts of myths regarding love, and positivity in general. The irony is, all genuine love (or the genuine and pure part of any “love”) comes 100% from that detached, unbiased, nonjudgmental part of ourselves which is the HS. All of it! The rest is pure illusion, pure ego.

Meditate about it. Contemplate it. All our suffering, our unhappiness, comes from the ego. But the ego is illusory (except at its most practical and physically mundane level). That’s why the Buddhists passionately encourage us to drop the illusion.

The HS is where the natural positivity – especially the love and wisdom – lives inside you. That’s not to deny there are all sorts of false ways of cultivating so-called positivity. For instance, if you set goals for who you want to be then you’ll be constricting your soul into that mould. And if you start failing to achieve the goal, instead of pulling out you’ll often keep clinging to that goal and making yourself more and more rigid, ultimately because your ego demands security for itself. There’s a book called Smile or Die, by Barbara Ehrenreich. She had cancer, and her book is an expose of the dark side of “positive thinking”, and of the belief that positive thinking will solve all our problems.