Working with the shadow.

[Dawn]

My post from above: It takes work to slowly release the energies caught in a trauma vortex, and the willingness to feel the tremendous emotional charges in such a vortex. The eventual result is that a portion of myself 'comes back in' and this portion is ALWAYS both powerful and, after being healed, is also peaceful and loving.

At the same time there is value in being able to experience all frequencies which equate with various emotions without resistance. Emotions act as programs which dictate our life while they are present. For example... you do not even consider harming someone when you are experiencing the frequency of love. On the other hand, you never hug someone when you are angry. Emotions that are resisted become stuck ... so it is good to accept them.

Purple Llama https://projectavalon.net/forum4/show...create-with-it.

Thank you purple Llama. I'd like to rephrase my remark from above... Trama energies seem to be the natural life flow which has been split into negative and positive. When working with these there is a period when both alternate.... but when the balancing is done there is only clarity and neutrality....

This is an important distinction from what I wrote above because what most think of as 'love' is an emotional program, just as other emotions (like anger) are. This 'fractured life force' splits into positive and negative emotions it seems. And this fractured energy seems to be the underpinning of this strange reality.

Purple Llama, I really really like the thread you posted above. It has been a long time since I've looked at it. It is interesting to see the meaning it has for me now vs the last time I visited there.

I still think that pretending the 'shadow' does not exist is a mistake. I have found usefulness in facing it directly, seeing that it is there, and balancing energies caught which can recycle traumas over and over again.

[Synchronicity]

Posted by Dawn (here)
Thank you Syncronicity for such a well thought out and loving reply.

For everyone here there is a path that they walk which is theirs alone. IMHO no teacher or book or modality works for all. I have used guides... which turned out to be a bad idea after some years, because they morphed into something else. In my case this was a good thing, because it forced me to turn back to myself as the ultimate authority. After all (speaking for me personally), why should something other than me be more knowledgeable and more powerful than I am?

Moving into a place where I am the ultimate authority has demanded tremendous courage and a release of the thought that I am somehow 'not grown up' or 'not powerful'.

I have been turning over and over this exact topic which you and I are discussing for I have seen so much in my life. My 3rd eye has been open for the past 20 years.

In most people I meet, I see 'things' peeking out through their eyes... and these are never loving, kind, and benevolent. I have learned to see these entities and be neutral about them, for it is not my business to clear others... they have their own path. I have also seen uncountable numbers of demons, Jinn, reptilians, and many shape shifters in multiple guises... but again, these have never been benevolent. The stray ones who are not attached as parasites often nod their heads in recognition when they realize I can see them. Although they do not attack me, they have never resonated with the 'higher' emotions such as love and joy.

I have 'healed' some entities using love, during sessions where I was being asked for help. One only (out of thousands) turned into a loving angelic being. The remainder stayed as they were, but dropped their need to be parasitic as old contracts were released. So.... since I have seen so many thousands and interacted with them directly... well that is why I question the idea of guides.

I did have an interesting interaction with one about 17 years ago. It showed up as a companion who walked beside me one evening. I could only see out of the corner of my eyes, not by looking directly at it. After some time I asked it what it wanted from me, and it offered its services. It proposed to come into my body, and leave when I asked it to. It said that if I accepted its proposal, I would be able to perform miraculous healings and would become a famous healer with the ability to change the lives of many thousands. I felt it out energetically, and tried to figure out if it was trustworthy. It asked to come into my body for a few moments to allow me to experience what that would be like for me... promising to leave when asked, then it waited for my answer. The entity seemed polite and respectful, unlike others I'd met, so I agreed. Immediately I felt incredibly strong and powerful, I also experienced myself as 7ft tall. I was a bit tempted, however it seemed to me that I did not wish to live my life through the power of another. I chose to live and learn through my own powers without its help and assistance. It said to me 'I honor your choice', bowed and left. I am glad I chose to walk alone in this life... for me this was the right choice.

Still, I have read books about demons and Jinn making agreements with very aware 'masters'. This has caused me to wonder if there are really any of these that might be somewhere on the 'good intention' side. I also understand that Jinn removed from people by an Imam in the Muslim tradition are given the choice to convert to Islam or be imprisoned forever. This is interesting and beyond my personal knowledge.

How interesting that you see those peeking out and what a thoughtful reply you have written. I see things peeking out as well, but my interpretation of them is totally different than yours. I see so much around people (and animals sometimes), but for the most part it isn't negative or bad or actual entities. Does some or most need to be released/removed in order for the person to be in the best energetic shape possible? Probably, but I don't see them as possessed or even totally controlled usually. I am aware of the Middle World and its inhabitants, but I just don't see them through the same filter you do. We all see through filters from our backgrounds and education, and mine is just very different than yours...as you said, a very different path. I think it's fascinating how we would both look at the same person and see two totally different things happening. Neither has to be right or wrong...it is our perception, mindset, what filters we see through, and our training and where we are in our own healing that determines what we see.

I would wager that a Muslim would see totally different things that a Christian, a Catholic different things than a Protestant, and A Jewish person different things than a atheist. A shaman would see the person in a totally different way than a therapist or acupuncturist. It's interesting to me that there are infinite ways to see the same person, too. You might look at me and see demons surrounding me. I see my guides, those who come for help, and messengers, and yes, sometimes some energy that needs to be released since I am human. I'm used to black shadows, supposedly evil energies showing up, and they almost always turn out underneath to be lost, benign, a bit eccentric, angry, or confused beings or energy who respond to one of various ways to help or release back to the universe. So I guess my frame of reference is just different...and that is fine. I see deeply into people and situations, just as I'm sure you do...we just see through different eyes and filters. I make no deals with my guides and they are not in authority over me...they are companions and teachers who indeed have kept me safe and helped me help others.

I also keep in mind that anyone can write a book and many have absolutely no clue what he or she is writing about. I could write a book on advanced math and proclaim myself to have made a deal with the devil (who I don't believe in anyway as popularly portrayed) and have secret information on formulas that would provide free energy if only people were smart enough and enlightened enough to understand my amazingness..lol. Sure, mathematicians could say I was nuts and my work was garbage, but if I could get a few people to see how it was possible I might have a following and who knows? I could say I hold the one true way to defeat evil demons and save everyone! Sad, but true that anyone can say anything and be full of crap...not speaking of anyone in particular, but just in general. And setting aside the ones who really are trying to fool people, many are sincerely sharing their insights and experience with a good intention and may be right, wrong, or some of both. So when I read or watch something I keep in mind that the person could be awesome, clueless, or more likely human just doing the best s/he can. It can be tricky sometimes for sure to sift through it all.

I would say...cheers to everyone trying to make a difference or help or heal or just leave the world a better place. How nice we can share experiences and wisdom and all the other stuff we might want to share.

[PurpleLama]

It is easy to look into the deep waters of psyche and recoil from the monsters it contains. It is very difficult, but a most rewarding endeavor, to face those monsters without flinching and offer them the healing hand of friendship to guided them out of the shadowy depths. When we do so, we do indeed transform them from the monsters we feared into the power we have forgotten.

A trauma is a trauma, it is a terrible thing we have endured, something that left a wound and later a scar. These monsters of the depths are not merely the result of traumas we have endured, but traumas we have created in the meandering path of incarnation we have taken to learn the right use of power. We live in a world where this lesson is still being offered on both sides of the equation.

With the unbalanced expression of personal power, we create trauma in another. It is necessary, as a soul, to have that balanced by the corrosponding experience of trauma given by another learning the right use of power. With the balancing, often the whole thing gets buried, and subsequent incarnations will abhor such use of power and will be sensitive to the traumas of others, all the while the original power that was rightfully ours will get locked away until we find the balance necessary to look the horror in the face and reclaim what belonged to us at the very start.

It ain't easy, looking down deep, but its better than being haunted by our monsters and creating a reality so unbalanced that thing are coming to get us out of the unknown. So many will never have real insight into the mechanism of psychic "attack" which most often is the activity of unknown portions of our own deeper levels.

[Synchronicity]

You are welcome, raregem, and it will be worth the trouble and time

[loveoflife]

I never judge an emotion. They just are what they are. Part of the experience of life. They enhance my experience make it richer. If i lash out because of anger, that is not the fault of anger, its a decision i make, a choice to react based on a feeling.

I just own and express assertively my emotions knowing that they are not who i am, even if i am alone. They are temporary and always pass if i do not hang onto or repress them.

I am alone most of the time nowadays, i am not lonely, i like my aloneness. I am an introvert and the intoxicating glitter of this life has little attraction for me any more. A walk in nature is as good as it gets, sometimes i decide to share the experience with a friend and find that they are a distraction from the beauty that surrounds me and my relationship with myself.

Emotions are a large part of my shadow work. I am careful as i can be not to repress them, because largely my shadow is the repressed emotions and trauma from my childhood seeking release.

I have done many workshops, worked with my inner child, let go of many addictions and of much denial as i reached states of rock bottom desperation.

I am not responsible for what happened to me as a child in this harsh world and how i had to shut down to protect myself. Though i am accountable for what i do now as a result of those innocent choices.

The answer and consensus that i found has always been the same. Accept life on life's terms not mine. Love and accept what is. Accept who i am, what i feel in this moment and sit with my stuff, because when it boils down to it, its all my stuff, my perception, my choice, my responsibility, my freedom, my sovereignty. Or as they say go with the flow, say yes to life.

My vulnerability is my strength and my empowerment. I used to think that i knew who i was, i no longer do, i am an evolving, changing being. I am a work in progress. I am one of the lucky ones, i have been forced to do this work. At times like now, life is painful and i feel lost. At the same time i have learned from experience, that standing still or attempting to go back is more painful.

Shadow work hurts, its a good type of pain, it has purpose, there is no victim or why me in it, because i instigate and accept it. The deeper i can go into the darkness and pain, the deeper i can go into the joy and light. The pain is my resistance to experiencing what is, as i relax and go into it i let the energy flow. The way out of the pain is through.

I have no understanding why i do this work, there are no goals only this moment. Its just what i do.

I suppose i can sum up what my life has become in one word, integration.

I have just found it surprisingly easy to express this discomfort that i am feeling anonymously, i wonder if it will be as easy to express the joy when it arrives?

[DNA]

Posted by PurpleLama (here)
It is easy to look into the deep waters of psyche and recoil from the monsters it contains. It is very difficult, but a most rewarding endeavor, to face those monsters without flinching and offer them the healing hand of friendship to guided them out of the shadowy depths. When we do so, we do indeed transform them from the monsters we feared into the power we have forgotten.

A trauma is a trauma, it is a terrible thing we have endured, something that left a wound and later a scar. These monsters of the depths are not merely the result of traumas we have endured, but traumas we have created in the meandering path of incarnation we have taken to learn the right use of power. We live in a world where this lesson is still being offered on both sides of the equation.

With the unbalanced expression of personal power, we create trauma in another. It is necessary, as a soul, to have that balanced by the corrosponding experience of trauma given by another learning the right use of power. With the balancing, often the whole thing gets buried, and subsequent incarnations will abhor such use of power and will be sensitive to the traumas of others, all the while the original power that was rightfully ours will get locked away until we find the balance necessary to look the horror in the face and reclaim what belonged to us at the very start.

It ain't easy, looking down deep, but its better than being haunted by our monsters and creating a reality so unbalanced that thing are coming to get us out of the unknown. So many will never have real insight into the mechanism of psychic "attack" which most often is the activity of unknown portions of our own deeper levels.

This is all very well stated.

For me, marijuana proved most valuable in helping me to focus and have stillness of mind in order to discover these things.

I cannot and do not smoke it anymore. I can't. My doors are far too opened for that.

But for my younger self smoking marijuana, doing yoga, an amazing combination.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=Tja6_h4lT6A

[loveoflife]

I am in the deep darkness of my shadow at present. All i can see is futility. I refuse to hope, for if i live in hope that is an admission that my present is crap. My present, here and now is what it is and changes like the breeze.

I am surrounded by people who refuse to look at their shadows, they either think it is negative or use substances and various addictions to evade present reality, maybe out of a fear of depression. I am no stranger to depression and my shadow is no stranger to myself. Though i have to to admit, acknowledging and working with my shadow self has alleviated my depression, what does not kill me only makes me stronger. The beast has to be named that is 90% of the battle won. How can i heal denial? That which i refuse to acknowledge does exist.

My shadow is not only my fear, negativity, defects of character, my past and potential evil (i come from a history of substance abuse, and i am not proud of things that i have done, though they are now behind me they still exist in potential). Acceptance of my shadow i have realised is to look at the world that i live in for what its, beautiful and at the same time dreadful.

As i look around me i see poverty, war, famine, torture and terror caused by or psychopathic rulers only a short plane ride away. Not many want to discuss this, though silently we all know it. I assume this is so because a discussion on these and related topics would cause a feeling of powerlessness, and also because of an uncaring attitude by being inured to it by those endless news bulletins and the desensitisation of empathy caused by violent tv shows, movies and video games. Its not the topics that are distasteful, but the underlying feeling and the fear it provokes. The shadow feeds and obtains the strength to survive and hide in secrets and what is denied through repressed fear. Yet what is fear only an emotion, emotions are not who i am, now matter how unpleasant of terrifying they all pass, to be replaced with other emotions and feelings.

I went to see a horror movie at a cinema once and was astounded to hear the audience laugh at the gruesome events depicted on the screen. Then at a comedy, there was very little laughter. Everything is certainly upside down and back to front.

I know most people on this forum are aware of what i am saying here as it is nothing new. The difference is i am going to voice the elephant in the room and now i have a forum on which to do it, a thread dealing with the shadow side of human nature, the dark side that as a part of my shadow work i have decided to reveal here so as to make it manifest and tangible, to expose and name my demons.

I have always seen the world for what it is, my empathy and sensitivity did not enable me to hide from stark reality. As a result i have never been overly pleased by sharing the hellhole called Earth with so much suffering around myself on a global scale. This in turn caused me to suffer and search for healing and understanding. Reality for me is that suffering has been my gift, my strength and empowerment. It is not something to runaway or hide from, though i did spend many years doing just that, it is something to embrace with passionate enthusiasm and sometimes lethargy. The deeper i go into my suffering, the higher i can go into my joy, the deeper i can go into my darkness the more intensity of the light i can experience. If some are now wondering, no i am not bipolar just a caring empathic human.

I must admit to feeling overwhelmed of late, looking at the reality of planet Earth. The NWO, the psychopathy of the governments and corporations who control them (i found out about 'The Protocols of The Learned Elders of Zion when i was 17, followed a few years later by The Illuminatus Trilogy, by Robert Anton Wilson). You would think it gets easier to handle as they years go by but no, just more information is revealed as it comes to light, the result of more light coming in.

Then there is alien intervention and genetic manipulation, all those people abducted and there is nothing that can be done about it. (I also have good reason to suspect abduction in my childhood, though i have no memories of actual abduction, which is quite normal, so i am led to believe.)

Then there are the lies we are told by our academic institutions that exist to indoctrinate and not to educate. So that everything we are told has to be questioned, alternative versions of humanities history do exist, though they are usually debunked or ignored by the advocates of peer review, more like jobsworth review.

The lying and cheating MSM, whose purpose is diversionary, to hide the truth. Even when the truth is purported by some well meaning source discernment is needed because disinformation is rife.

Life is a struggle for many because we have to take on and challenge those who seek to oppress us and confine us to slavery, not just gangsters and criminals but our governments and the institutions they set up under the pretense of helping and protecting us.

Then we have Agenda 21 and the UN policy of sustainable development. They want to save the environment by killing us off and reducing the population to a manageable 50 million. So they poison the land and our food with chemicals and GMO's. Process food until it is no longer fit to be called food. Poison our drinking water with chlorine and fluoride and who knows what else. If that is not enough they poison and irradiate the groundwater with fracking chemicals. Then they poison the air we breathe with chemtrails, particulates of aluminum, barium, strontium and more, some say nano bots, that genetically manipulate DNA. As if the car exhaust fumes, pollution by industry, and the off gas, the chemical gases coming from our household furnishings making the air in our homes 700 times more polluted than outside was not enough, we have toxic medicines, pharmacology, made from inert chemicals, that can remove one problem and cause several more. Lets not forget Fukushima, which is irradiating our planet through the jet stream and poisoning the pacific ocean. What can i say about the industrial military complex? There must be more that i have missed, but its looking like the want us dead and dying alright. They can even manage to make a profit from all this misery. I seems they will use anything at their disposal to eliminate us. Even a nuclear war is not out of the question, such is the nature of our evil overlords.

We are forced to pay to live on the planet that we live on, and are so conditioned we think its always been this way. That the norm is being a wage/debt slave to a fiat monetary system that is unsustainable and bound to crash, when they choose it too and it suits their evil agenda.

And on, and on and on it goes. I have not even touched the subject of religion and the lies spouted by our so called spiritual preceptors in order to control and manipulate us, through religions old and new age.

All these many problems and threats to humanities existence and no one is offering any practical solutions. We just inform and wait for critical mass, or spaceships to land and take us to paradise. Its always in the future, when all we have is now.

This may be a very depressing thread for some, though i am not personally depressed, i am frustrated, angry, and often feel like giving up in a world full of people in denial. Lets face it who can blame them, ignorance is bliss.

Looking at all that stuff is the easy part of my shadow work, my own and the worlds evil that i play my part in through acquiescence, it hits me right in the face i cannot seem avoid it, like all those silent empty faces around me.

Now for the difficult part of shadow work, my light. We know all about the evil, the depths to which we can sink and see others sink to, as we are conditioned that way. What of the light, the potential for a transcendent empowered human existence?

I am reminded by a book by C.S. Lewis 'The Screwtape Letters'. Its a conversation between a senior devil and his student who sought tempt a soul coming to a belief and understanding of god. Lewis felt he could only warn us of the darkness in our nature for that was his experience. The machinations of the devilish mind that seek to keep us from our spiritual nature, he said he knew much about. Yet our spiritual nature, the angelic or divine mind he knew little of, except for faith. I respect that man for his honesty.

As for my divinity that is also part of my shadow work, all i seem to have are questions and the use of my imagination.

Who am i. What is the nature of a fully awakened, immortal human if such a thing exists. Its has always seemed irrational to me that death is the end. I have never been able to equate living in an infinite universe or multiverse for that matter and one short 3D life span being all you get. I am very open minded, open to unlimited possibilities and potential. I do not even rule out the possibility of regenerating this body and the possibility of physical immortality. Though i am also not afraid of death and welcome it, if that is my destiny. I have looked long and hard at my demise in one form or another, after i discovered the term 'death negative' as being a prevalent mental state of humanity today. So i say to death bring it on, it must be quite a ride, the only certainty in life (or so they say ). Sometimes i do envy those that i have known who have left their physical bodies behind to move on, leaving me here.

It does occur to me that those who control this planet and manipulate humanity are afraid of us humans and not just because we are many and they are few (research into archons will show they are not so few). They are throwing all of the aforementioned stuff at us and yet still we thrive. What is it about us that they will resort to anything to keep us from waking up to who we really are and even seek to destroy us?

I have forgotten my true eternal nature and yet i can dream it into existence, is this the difference?

We collectively are manifesting this reality, it seems to me that humanity has been, programmed, conditioned and brainwashed into manifesting the reality and agenda of our overlords. Do they lack this ability, that they have to manipulate us to do it for them?

We have been programmed mainly through religions to feel small and powerless and to give away our inherent power to a saviour or deity. I say that this is not so, we are the one that we have been waiting for, no one is coming to save us. Who we are in truth is way beyond our wildest dreams. We are more than a match for our rulers, if we choose not to be governed and wake up to our true potential of both darkness and light, good and evil. When we transcend this programme of duality and see the truth of the balance of opposites being one energy, two sides of the same coin. Then we can be free to use either for our own purposes, without attachment to one or the other polarity, conscious of a state of neutral balance we strive to achieve. Nothing in this universe can be destroyed, only transformed into something else, this is a natural law.

I am coming to the end of my share. My intent was to share my experience, ideas and thoughts, not a study of some so called expert. I needed to share this here, as it is too much for most people i know and care about, i have tried and have been met with the ubiquitous silence of cognitive dissonance, even by so called truth seekers.

Well done for those who made it through the end and shared with me the dark night of my my soul as i crossed the abyss into the light. This is the process of facing truth as i see it. The most frightening aspect of this exploration is my light, my divinity, my freedom, for with freedom comes great responsibility. So many chose slavery instead, it is so much easier to be told what to do and obey unthinkingly.

Fear is the obstacle to love. It is also the path to love. By embracing and feeling fear we find courage and the light of our true loving nature. What does not kill us only makes us stronger.

BENE GESSERIT LITANY AGAINST FEAR from Dune by Frank Herbert.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

[gripreaper]

Loveoflife, you nailed it. It's just energy. We attach archetypes to it, judge it as evil or good, and create the holograms which we manifest. We can choose to let the energy just be, to pass through us without judgment, without beliefs, without archetypes, for then it merges with the wholeness of who we are. This is the power and this is what the Archon's are so hell bent we don't figure out.

The shadow and the light are parts of the game of duality, the contrast of the opposites, the experience of the polarized states, the ability to imbed and imbue this nature into the very core of our DNA, our immortal souls, and hold the fulness of all the frequencies within a body differentiated and yet whole. As one, and yet as an individual, the inbreath and outbreath of creation, the spiral of arising energy of the soul towards the godhead, towards fulness, towards the ability to emote on a cellular level, all that is possible, all that is within and without the expansive universe, held in the body.

This collective dream is here now.

[eaglespirit]

Thank You Loveoflife...
I am grateful I looked in here, You have about touched on it all and I truly wish You Godspeed in the purest and highest sense!
...
I shared this elsewhere just before reading Your post. I personally experienced a shamanic death and re-birth in 2007 and the diligence and work are ongoing but the joys of this journey are felt profoundly.

We are as spiritually powerful as the goodness we help create in our nows, imho!

Simple in 3d yet cosmically and cunningly complex in a profound selfless sense!

The paradigm changing ingredient that is up-gradient!