Are You A Narcissist?

[chocolate]

Amethyst,
you are giving me 'strange' energetic vibes, so being or not autistic, having or not aspergers, I just can't connect with you. That is why I just try to avoid further interactions.

And that was one (not typical for the 'politeness' adopted by this forum) hones post.

Sorry, Pris, do not be too hard on me. That was just waiting for an outlet.

[Natalia]

Posted by chocolate (here)
Amethyst,
you are giving me 'strange' energetic vibes, so being or not autistic, having or not aspergers, I just can't connect with you. That is why I just try to avoid further interactions.

And that was one (not typical for the 'politeness' adopted by this forum) hones post.

Sorry, Pris, do not be too hard on me. That was just waiting for an outlet.

Well we have connected warmly before and so, that you are upset with something about me and this is the first time that you have said anything to me about it, is surprising to me, especially the 'strange' energetic vibes comment...so you don't trust me now for whatever reason (I do not know) and the kindest thing I can do is to accept that and not talk to you. No hard feelings, just a little sad that you felt that way.

I was just sharing part of how I see and feel on this subject, from care and wanting to be fair, believe it or not, but now I will leave this thread if (a few?) people are going to get upset about me pointing out how I see the differences between things and the sometimes unfair judgements, labeling and accusations that people can make.

[Orph]

Posted by Amethyst (here)

but now I will leave this thread if (a few?) people are going to get upset about me pointing out how I see the differences between things and the sometimes unfair judgements, labeling and accusations that people can make.

Don't leave because of me. A lot of what I say is not meant to be taken seriously. Unfortunately, it sometimes comes across as being a jab.

[Czarek]

Sam Vaknin has done some good work on the subject. Have a peak.
http://samvak.tripod.com/npdglance.html

Took the test myself. Scored 4.

[sirdipswitch]

Posted by Pris (here)

Posted by sirdipswitch (here)
Hey Orph!!! I'm with you Bud!! chuckle chuckle

I did however break down and take the test, but sompthin musta happened with my computer cuz it wouldn't give me a score. Nope! It just told me that I should seek a good councilor. ccc.

Lol?! Another jokester (sorry for the label lol)? If you're not joking, the link I provided in the original post is for a test that does provide a score.

Btw, one of my best friends in the whole world is a jokester. It took me quite a long time to figure him out, but he was worth it. And, he learned to be more gentle with me and not so cryptic. Why? Because I kept telling him to stop being an arse.

Joking? Who's joking? Gotcha beat kiddo! cc.

I did a 20. Here's the breakdown.

Here's how you rated on the seven component traits of narcissism:

Narcissistic Trait Strength of Trait
Authority: 6.00
Self-Sufficiency: 4.00
Superiority: 3.00
Exhibitionism: 3.00
Exploitativeness: 2.00
Vanity: 0.00
Entitlement: 2.00

And here's how they described it.

Below you will find a brief interpretation of each narcissism trait and what your score relative to that trait may indicate about you.

Authority

Authority refers to a person's leadership skills and power. People who score higher on authority like to be in charge and gain power, often for power's sake alone. You scored particularly high in authority, suggesting you see yourself as a leader or as someone who values power.

Self-Sufficiency

This trait refers to how self-sufficient a person is, that is, how much you rely on others versus your own abilities to meet your needs in life. You scored particularly high in self-sufficiency, suggesting you are highly self sufficient.

Superiority

This trait refers to whether a person feels they are more superior than those around them. You scored particularly high in superiority, suggesting you feel you are superior to most others.

Exhibitionism

This trait refers to a person's need to be the center of attention, and willingness to ensure they are the center of attention (even at the expense of others' needs).

Exploitativeness

This trait refers to how willing you are to exploit others in order to meet your own needs or goals.

Vanity

This trait refers to a person's vanity, or their belief in one's own superior abilities and attractiveness compared to others.

Entitlement

This trait refers to the expectation and amount of entitlement a person has in their lives, that is, unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with one's expectations. People who score higher on this trait generally have a greater expectation of entitlement, while those who score lower expect little from others or life.

They also said this -

Your Total: 20
Between 12 and 15 is average.
Celebrities often score closer to 18.
Narcissists score over 20.

Because you scored 18 or higher, you may want to check out the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder.


So I guess what it all boils down to is that anyone with high Leadership qualities is termed a Narcissist and should seek help for their disorder. hmm.

HEY I KNOW!!! Since you scored so high also... Pris...

you can be my Second in Command!!! ccc.

[Stephanie]

Sirdipswitch and Orph, for humour I would give you both top marks.



Sorry Pris, they made me laugh, now back to topic.
May all be well, with all.

[Pris]

Posted by Amethyst (here)

Posted by chocolate (here)
Amethyst,
you are giving me 'strange' energetic vibes, so being or not autistic, having or not aspergers, I just can't connect with you. That is why I just try to avoid further interactions.

And that was one (not typical for the 'politeness' adopted by this forum) hones post.

Sorry, Pris, do not be too hard on me. That was just waiting for an outlet.

Well we have connected warmly before and so, that you are upset with something about me and this is the first time that you have said anything to me about it, is surprising to me, especially the 'strange' energetic vibes comment...so you don't trust me now for whatever reason (I do not know) and the kindest thing I can do is to accept that and not talk to you. No hard feelings, just a little sad that you felt that way.

I was just sharing part of how I see and feel on this subject, from care and wanting to be fair, believe it or not, but now I will leave this thread if (a few?) people are going to get upset about me pointing out how I see the differences between things and the sometimes unfair judgements, labeling and accusations that people can make.

Whaaaa...? You want to leave this thread just because you think you upset a couple of people? Why do you care if you think you upset everyone here? You're thoughts are just as valid as anyone else's. You are super-special, Amethyst. I always appreciate your point-of-view. Please don't let those others bother you.

Posted by Amethyst (here)
(I don't have either but this is a good video on the subject and sociological aspects)

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=LpKHDBj7Spo

Thank you for posting this! I haven't had a chance to watch it yet, but this whole topic has been a real eye-opener for me. And, with the strange vibes going on here, I thought I'd better chime in quickly.

The 'labels' have helped me tremendously to figure something out... I thought I had sociopathic tendencies (oh, no, here we go again! ;D). Then it was suggested that instead, I may be a high-functioning autistic. Interesting, but that wasn't it.

Now, here, you've got a video comparing Asperger's to narcissism! And, what's been the big 'light bulb moment' for me is that my dad is most likely a narcissist -- not a sociopath -- and that really makes a huge difference to me in all of this. I seem to have some narcissistic tendencies at times that I likely inherited from him... now it all makes sense!

I didn't know the difference between these 'labels' until now.

Thank you for contributing to my thread, Amethyst!

[Delight]

Posted by Pris (here)
I thought I had sociopathic tendencies (oh, no, here we go again! ;D). Then it was suggested that instead, I may be a high-functioning autistic. Interesting, but that wasn't it. Now, here, you've got a video comparing Asperger's to narcissism! And, what's been the big 'light bulb moment' for me is that my dad is most likely a narcissist -- not a sociopath -- and that really makes a huge difference to me in all of this. I seem to have some narcissistic tendencies at times that I likely inherited from him... now it all makes sense!

IMO I think some "sociopathic" traits are what society does not like but that are supportive of sovereign being and some are dangerous and hurt others. It is all lumped in together.

These questions on the quiz and the whole DSM approach to normal is all based on social herd programming. But by agreeing to these labels, we will then be judging. After all, why have labels unless you intend to use them as hierarchy of value in some way??

The main thing about sociopathy is that it is an interpersonal "me in the world" with a total focus on me and the lack of "social" restraints. It enables all 100% no holds barred to "go for" me. my friends and I have been talking about being oneself in relationship. IF a person has no need for the social goodies that comprise "the usual" interaction, there are freedoms there because there is no "I care a lot" about being liked. A person could be considered to have sociopathic traits because they do not care to conform and no carrots or sticks will make them (is that the freedom in traits of "autism"...a label?)

The big question IMO is conscience. I don't care if I am liked (too much...I care some hehe) but I won't do those things that are called sociopathic because I REALLY care about my own conscience. I don't care that much about TRYING to be liked so don't make an effort but I am still social.

When people are still tied in to the social goodies but lack a conscience, they may do all kinds of exploitation actions (steal, cheat, murder, manipulate, dominate blah blah...all that are not socially acceptable) and hide all the activity as it seems like the way to get that which they need. These people could be dangerous when one has to interact with them. Poeple put up with it to get what they want too. All this is corporate type civilization.

I consider that we can all open on to a new field of experience that is not comparative, hierarchy, win/lose etc. when we stop needing the affirmation form our programmed upbringing.

To pull it off, we have to have our own ground of being, our own base of power and values...not values based on performance to others but what seems like our integrity. In high school type civilization the geeks and nerds were shunned by the herd and then later observation is that the high school herd was left behind in the pasture when the "out lyers" graduated. Genius is found outside the limits of normal. The ones who are dangerous are still needy of the energy taken from an audience at all costs.

There can be a fine line. I personally really like non-comformity as a value and also wisdom of knowing that some interesting people are not to be trusted with my energy and involvement. If one is in with a sociopath, there is a reason one went into the relationship IMO. I'll even say that for me and being born to a family with major narcissm. I think I am much more than this body and this life expression so I am into the big picture of growing past the old patterns of millenia.

[Pris]

Posted by chocolate (here)
Amethyst,
you are giving me 'strange' energetic vibes, so being or not autistic, having or not aspergers, I just can't connect with you. That is why I just try to avoid further interactions.

And that was one (not typical for the 'politeness' adopted by this forum) hones post.

Sorry, Pris, do not be too hard on me. That was just waiting for an outlet.

Thanks for your thoughts, chocolate. We don't all connect with everyone and that's okay. I still interact with people here on Avalon that I, seriously, do not connect with.

Forgive my stupidity, but is this about 'labels'? If it is, it's kind of interesting that, in a not so indirect way, you are labeling Amethyst as 'strange'.

For myself, I don't get these 'strange' energetic vibes, as you put it, coming off Amethyst. But, even if I did, in most cases, I'm attracted to strange.

Maybe look inside as to why you feel this way, chocolate.

As Amethyst said recently, 'Mirror mirror...'

POST UPDATE:

Amethyst did not say 'Mirror mirror'. That message came automatically with the test results.

[Pris]

Posted by chocolate (here)

Posted by Orph (here)

Posted by Pris (here)

I find your comments interesting, Orph. You're either just thinking you're being funny because this is a thread about narcissists, or ........

It's all about perception. I see something as funny, but other people don't. I admit, I have a bit of an odd-ball sense of humor. And of course, some will say I don't have a sense of humor at all, I'm just an odd-ball. Hmmmmm. Perception.

(when I said I don't take tests, that was also a joke).

Now, as far as narcissists go, to me that's the same as any other label or judgement that people throw around. Who am I to judge or label anybody for being who they are? Anyway, sorry for disturbing your thread.

I usually don't participate in threads where people put the emphasis on the degree of using and believing in labels, for pretty much the same reasons as you, Orph.
May be narcissistic me is too large to fit into any one label or description ( odd sense of humor here , too ) ?

BTW, I have very few photos of myself ( somewhere around the number 5 will be correct ). And at the same time I don't put anybody down, if I can help it, neither openly nor in a passive way.
But, many have, and still are, miss-placing me based on their own labeling system.

I see this thread timely appearing together here and as an article in my FB feed. Interesting.

Another Sorry! for disturbing the thread.

Another btw, I have millions of pictures of myself. I don't share them with anyone, though. And, I rarely look at them once I've taken them. I guess I just like collecting things -- gives me a momentary high. I've got that Collectors Disorder lol.

Ever had an obsession? It doesn't matter to me if it's ideas or things, I get completely obsessed with whatever it is.

And, my attention is all over the place. My interests change constantly.

Anyway, no need to apologize for disturbing my thread. That's what it's all about.

[joeecho]

Would a Narcissist take over this thread by citing the many sources as to why his/ her ideas of narcissism are the most accurate?

Btw, have you ever seen both side of a coin at the same time?








I promise never to take over this thread. You can trust me!

[Tesla_WTC_Solution]

Posted by Amethyst (here)
As a highly sensitive empath, I have picked up on...

Much accusations going on of other people being "narcissists" for reasons that are just, human...

To me, narcissism means the opposite of empathy and caring about others...it's about putting others down to feel better about themselves...so a deeply caring and empathic person cannot be "a narcissist"...but, how I see it is that every person with an ego can have narcissistic moments, it's just that some people have it a lot more strongly and more often, than others.

Some common examples of misconceptions:

Someone could have 200 photos up of themselves on face book, and another can have 5...the person who has 5 thinks that anyone who has over 50 photos is a narcissist...this shows their lack of empathy...the person who has 200 rarely puts any one down and has lots of empathy for other people...unlike the one who has only 5 photos up, who often talks badly about others, usually in passive ways...

People trying to overcome social anxiety by exposing themselves by sharing and communicating with others, is not narcissism, it is simply them trying to grow, rise above their own fears, and reach out to and connect with others.

People sharing their own story, is not necessarily narcissism (though it can be - just about any action could have that reason behind it), it may be a gentle and indirect way to try to help others, and maybe themselves, too, helping yourself by not putting others down is not narcissism, it's self love.

People can confuse a true self love with narcissism - they are very different.

Social anxiety (and people who can be very introspective, or have Asperger's Syndrome) can be confused with narcissism, they are very different at what is at the core of it (the one who has had social anxiety can be the one who has been bullied at school by those who had strong narcissistic tendencies, to me, narcissism is cruelty).

So, if you are mostly an empathic, caring and kind person, you are not a "narcissist" however it may seem to some, and however some want to see you and make you seem!

Thank you.

There was a yahoo! comment the other night that offended me but it was so simple and true: self determination is a RIGHT. it sounded a bit neo nazi but hey.
They guy felt that he was entitled to be crusty, cranky, and have his own opinion. Old school folks were extremely self absorbed but this bloomed out of a huge work ethic.

Modern self love blooms more out of a lack of work, a lack of self worth.
Modern humans are very bored and the easy choice is self reflection over exploration.

It takes a certain amount of self determination to explore, so don't feel bad for making mistakes, i.e. trial and error, Papageno etc. lol

I think your facebook scenario is a really good example because it's something people understand well.
It's true that the people w/ more friends tend to have more selfies. it's a weird phenom but hey!!!

Guess we have to love ourselves (oh my!) to love others after all... didn't a therapist once say that to a few of us here? XD

____________________________________________________________________________________________________ ______

p.s. the Asperger's thing on the playground is also true. holy ****. lol

p.p.s. threads that ask some version of the "which personality type are you" can be interesting but ultimately float at the level of mass email forwards. people start to drown.

[Pris]

Posted by sirdipswitch (here)

Posted by Pris (here)

Posted by sirdipswitch (here)
Hey Orph!!! I'm with you Bud!! chuckle chuckle

I did however break down and take the test, but sompthin musta happened with my computer cuz it wouldn't give me a score. Nope! It just told me that I should seek a good councilor. ccc.

Lol?! Another jokester (sorry for the label lol)? If you're not joking, the link I provided in the original post is for a test that does provide a score.

Btw, one of my best friends in the whole world is a jokester. It took me quite a long time to figure him out, but he was worth it. And, he learned to be more gentle with me and not so cryptic. Why? Because I kept telling him to stop being an arse.

Joking? Who's joking? Gotcha beat kiddo! cc.

I did a 20. Here's the breakdown.

Here's how you rated on the seven component traits of narcissism:

Narcissistic Trait Strength of Trait
Authority: 6.00
Self-Sufficiency: 4.00
Superiority: 3.00
Exhibitionism: 3.00
Exploitativeness: 2.00
Vanity: 0.00
Entitlement: 2.00

And here's how they described it.

Below you will find a brief interpretation of each narcissism trait and what your score relative to that trait may indicate about you.

Authority

Authority refers to a person's leadership skills and power. People who score higher on authority like to be in charge and gain power, often for power's sake alone. You scored particularly high in authority, suggesting you see yourself as a leader or as someone who values power.

Self-Sufficiency

This trait refers to how self-sufficient a person is, that is, how much you rely on others versus your own abilities to meet your needs in life. You scored particularly high in self-sufficiency, suggesting you are highly self sufficient.

Superiority

This trait refers to whether a person feels they are more superior than those around them. You scored particularly high in superiority, suggesting you feel you are superior to most others.

Exhibitionism

This trait refers to a person's need to be the center of attention, and willingness to ensure they are the center of attention (even at the expense of others' needs).

Exploitativeness

This trait refers to how willing you are to exploit others in order to meet your own needs or goals.

Vanity

This trait refers to a person's vanity, or their belief in one's own superior abilities and attractiveness compared to others.

Entitlement

This trait refers to the expectation and amount of entitlement a person has in their lives, that is, unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with one's expectations. People who score higher on this trait generally have a greater expectation of entitlement, while those who score lower expect little from others or life.

They also said this -

Your Total: 20
Between 12 and 15 is average.
Celebrities often score closer to 18.
Narcissists score over 20.

Because you scored 18 or higher, you may want to check out the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder.


So I guess what it all boils down to is that anyone with high Leadership qualities is termed a Narcissist and should seek help for their disorder. hmm.

HEY I KNOW!!! Since you scored so high also... Pris...

you can be my Second in Command!!! ccc.

Wow, a 20! Impressive, sirdipswitch! You weren't joking -- that's hilarious!


Yes, I admit I'm not as strong an authority figure as yourself.




I'll gladly be your Number 2.

[Pris]

Posted by joeecho (here)
Would a Narcissist take over this thread by citing the many sources as to why his/ her ideas of narcissism are the most accurate?

Btw, have you ever seen both side of a coin at the same time?








I promise never to take over this thread. You can trust me!

Couldn't resist, could you!

That last saying really hits home. I've had the line, 'If the shoe fits, wear it', running through my head for the last couple of days now, but haven't have a chance to use it haha!

Now, here's my chance!

[joeecho]

Posted by Pris (here)

Those shoes don't seem to fit but that would never stop a narcissist from wearing them if he/ she thought they looked good on him/ her. And if others do not agree then that is because they do not have good tastes.

Image is everything to a narcissist, imagine that!

[PurpleLama]

A real narcissist/psychopath could score on that test whatever they wanted to.


Just sayin'. They would see through every question, and hide it.


Want me to take it again?

[PurpleLama]

hey!

A person can't help it if they are absurdly good looking!

[joeecho]

Posted by PurpleLama (here)
A real narcissist/psychopath could score on that test whatever they wanted to.

Just sayin'. They would see through every question, and hide it.

Want me to take it again?

You hit the head on the nail with that one!

I bet you're narcissistically proud!

[joeecho]

Posted by Pris (here)




I'll gladly be your Number 2.

How does a 'Number 2' turn into a cat picture?

You gotta go find out!





Correct me if I am wrong but isn't being a little s**t a narcissist tendency??

[Natalia]

I want to make a few things very clear (before I take a needed break from this forum)

I've only just noticed that this could be a possible referral (?) to something that I said earlier in this thread, which had nothing to do with you chocolate, as far as I was aware

Posted by chocolate (here)
BTW, I have very few photos of myself ( somewhere around the number 5 will be correct ). And at the same time I don't put anybody down, if I can help it, neither openly nor in a passive way.
But, many have, and still are, miss-placing me based on their own labeling system.

If you was suggesting that I was labeling you because you have around 5 photos of yourself on your facebook wall (which I didn't even know before you said it, and I haven't seen your facebook wall), I was using 5 as an example because that popped into my mind (and there is someone like this on my "friend's" list who several times goes on about others having loads of photos on their wall, with this really judgmental bitter energy about him). It doesn't mean that I think that everyone who has only a few photos of themselves judges others for having more - it was an example, and people have more than me and I do not judge them for it.

(just in referring to this subject in general) I also do not have 200 photos of myself on my face book wall! Again, I was using that as an example, I probably have around 100, and more than half of those were when I was with my sister, other family, and friends...around half of them were taken and posted by others, and there are only a few selfies...all of this in 8 years being on facebook...it's called socializing, and fun...the rest of my 200 + photos are not of anybody but images and sayings and stuff that I put on my wall, that goes into your photos section and adds to the total count.

It doesn't matter to me however many photos someone puts on facebook, but I do prefer 1 pic so I can see what the person looks like!

Posted by Pris (here)

Maybe look inside as to why you feel this way, chocolate.

As Amethyst said recently, 'Mirror mirror...'

You might not know this...but I never wrote "Mirror mirror" (which might seem a little provocative?)...that was all copied and pasted from the tests results page, which looked different to yours as I didn't save the picture and post it as one...just copied and pasted and I thought it was strange, why did it say Mirror mirror in it, but I posted the whole thing...

Posted by Tesla_WTC_Solution (here)
Guess we have to love ourselves (oh my!) to love others after all... didn't a therapist once say that to a few of us here? XD

It helps!

When losing that feeling connection to self love (which is what some people want you to do...)...and connecting to it again