"Thanks" Button Paradise... A Sanctuary

[PurpleLama]

Every thread starts off a spell. To make it or break it, that's a good question?

[Wind]

If it wasn't obvious already, I'm thankful for the thanks button!
Besides being someone with minor OCD (or being a V like Virgo - I'm half joking here) the thanks button is a good way for me to let others know that I've seen/appreciated their message. Or likewise that my friends have seen some of my messages and aknowledged them. In short, it's great to be thankful.

Source: https://youtube.com/watch?v=a5K3IRMFj1M

[Iloveyou]

For me the topic of this thread is the question of listening to somebody. To turn off the roundabout of thoughts in one's own head while the other person is speaking. People are used to frame an answer already although the other person has not stopped speaking yet. It is an automatism.

So if somebody asks: Please do not push the thanks button on my thread, I don't. Nothing easier than that. In this case I understand the meaning of the experiment, but also if I hadn't understood, I would do what the person is asking for, just because he is asking (as long as what I'm asked for is acceptable for me, of course).

This great conversation could also have taken place without anybody having hit the button. And the benefit of having a thanks button is out of the question anyway, I agree with all the above said about it.

Just listen

[jc71]

Posted by Valley (here)

Posted by jc71 (here)
Thanks very much

Welcome... Thanks for stopping in JC... I see you couldn't resist hitting the button several times... maybe it has become an automatic response for you when you like a post, but can you please remove all your thanks you gave to everybody? I want to see what it's like here to Not use the button... a kind of sanctuary from it... OK?
Blessings. ..

PS...Can you say why you've thanked the thread with the button and with words also? Are you trying to disturb me perhaps? It doesn't bother me but I'd like to hear your reasoning.

Hi Valley,

Ok I will come clean. I did it on purpose because I am usually a law abiding, people pleasing person, but I have a streak in me and I was having a nightmare day and I just thought "no I am not just going to do what someone tells me to".

I feel a different space today and out of respect for your wishes I have removed my thanks. I will now read the rest of the thread with interest :-)

All the best,

JC

¤=[Post Update]=¤

Posted by the_real_dave-id (here)
I can't believe how many people have ignored the concept of OP and pushed the "thanks" button in this thread anyway. Ah well.....

Hi Dave,

You really can't believe it? There are lots of reasons why people might press a button when requested not to do so. I think it is quite interesting.

JC

[earthdreamer]

I used the thanks button just now since the original poster "Valley" relented and gave 'permission'. I am not present here everyday, (am not an internet junkie but more a binger), and I'm sure I miss lots of terrific threads on which I'd be giving thanks.

At first, I wasn't too sure about the thanks button but I also have come to really appreciate it for all the great reasons presented by everybody. I think the request to not use the thanks button inspires the rebel in us too.

I noticed an intelligent poster who'd joined years ago with 0 thanks, which is almost admirable for her/his tenacity to abstain, like a moral (if stubborn) stand to refrain from that 'ego' thing.

Anyway, Avalon's web designers and collaborators deserve 'thanks' for providing the option.

[Valley]

Posted by jc71 (here)

Posted by Valley (here)

Posted by jc71 (here)
Thanks very much

Welcome... Thanks for stopping in JC... I see you couldn't resist hitting the button several times... maybe it has become an automatic response for you when you like a post, but can you please remove all your thanks you gave to everybody? I want to see what it's like here to Not use the button... a kind of sanctuary from it... OK?
Blessings. ..

PS...Can you say why you've thanked the thread with the button and with words also? Are you trying to disturb me perhaps? It doesn't bother me but I'd like to hear your reasoning.

Hi Valley,

Ok I will come clean. I did it on purpose because I am usually a law abiding, people pleasing person, but I have a streak in me and I was having a nightmare day and I just thought "no I am not just going to do what someone tells me to".

I feel a different space today and out of respect for your wishes I have removed my thanks. I will now read the rest of the thread with interest :-)

All the best,

JC

¤=[Post Update]=¤

Posted by the_real_dave-id (here)
I can't believe how many people have ignored the concept of OP and pushed the "thanks" button in this thread anyway. Ah well.....

Hi Dave,

You really can't believe it? There are lots of reasons why people might press a button when requested not to do so. I think it is quite interesting.

JC

Hey JC... Nice to see you back, my friend... and sharing your reasoning. It doesn't really matter at this point about the removal of your Thanks, as the thread quickly was filling with thanks after your first 'defection'... but thank you. I'm cool with it all... as it has developed abundantly, with many people getting a chance to share on a little spoken of, yet very common practice here, which has great meaning to them.

It's interesting to me, your explanation and your life situation and how it was kinda a perfect setup for you to appear just in time to be the first 'stand-out' on the thread. Somehow this seems magical to me... so no harm done... I'm actually thinking you kinda gave the thread a big jump-start when you did that.

Now I'm wondering how this may have affected your perspectives on life, if at all?

I really appreciate you coming back with your reasonings.

Peace...

PS... Another very 'magical' thing... Just as I came back to look at the thread today, you had just posted your response.

[Valley]

Posted by mpennery (here)
I like the thanks button. In fact, sometimes I wish there were levels of thanks buttons (thanks, super thanks, holy crap thanks, etc) or that I could hit it 30 times. Of course, if I feel that thankful I usually just send a private message of personal thanks. I think it's a wonderful habit to get into of being thankful and expressing it. When I see people who have been here for months or years who have never thanked or thanked very little, I admit I have a negative reaction. I think "if they're not thankful for the amazing stuff they find here, why do they come?" I am frequently overwhelmed with thankfulness by the things I read on this site and I cannot imagine not being able to express it. I have to admit I also like to be thanked though I am not consumed by it at all. Actually, I find it has influenced my commenting because it makes me want to contribute something meaningful, instead of shooting off emotional responses (which I do still do occasionally) and not waste peoples' time. I also use it when I really agree with a comment. And I am mindful to thank the few who I have had disagreements with when they make very rational or positive comments. Are there some negatives with it? Perhaps. I do sometimes check a thread even though there's been no new posts to see who's seen and appreciated it. I guess there's a little ego with it. I do judge a little those that don't thank and even some who over-thank (sounds like a Seinfeld episode). But I very much feel the positives outweigh the negatives. I suppose I'll have some tomatoes thrown my way after some of this but I'm just being honest for some reason.
Great thread question, btw. I'll honor your request and just say thanks personally.

Matt

Welcome Matt... And thanks for being so honest and sharing your keen Insights here. I think your response is one of the deepest self-explorations on this subject so far, which was one of my main reasons for starting the thread... so folks can look more deeply into a very common practice and see if they can discover something new about themselves.

All the Best...

[Matt P]

Thanks Valley. Much appreciated.
It was pure torture not to hit the thanks button on yours and many of the other posts. I held true to your original request and I'm heartbroken you caved.

Matt

[Valley]

Posted by mpennery (here)
Thanks Valley. Much appreciated.
It was pure torture not to hit the thanks button on yours and many of the other posts. I held true to your original request and I'm heartbroken you caved.

Matt

Sweet, Matt... Ok, now you and JC have inspired me... I'm going back and removing all my thanks, so that I will remain true to my original intent, and stand strong with all those who choose to 'obstain', if only just for this one thread. If anyone else wants to keep thanking away here and join the 'festivities', that's ok too.

[Valley]

Just want to make my intentions clear, now that the initial "storm" has settled here, and I have clarified my own thinking for this thread...
1) I want everyone to feel welcome coming on and posting anything that's on their mind, and Thanking anyone they want.
2) I want this to be a kind of a sanctuary where anyone can feel free from ever thinking about hitting the Thanks button.
3) A place to talk about giving and receiving thanks of any kind, whether we choose to use the button or not.
4) A place to talk about the thanks button and everyone's experience using it, and their observations or speculations of anything to do with it.

I can see that it's not really the button that is so important to most people, it's the fact that they are being acknowledged by others and feeling a deeper connection to others... the button just makes it easier to do that, without having to type out a message. I'm not against using the button... I just wanted a place where we can be free from ever thinking about using the button because I think it has become overly fixated upon by some, as can be seen by some posts where one's Thanks statistics are looked at almost like their bank accounts... and if they have a higher number, or quotient... then somehow what they say has more clout than someone else with a lower statistic. There are several ways to manipulate one's posts to get higher thanks statistics and it has become a competition to some. I think it wouldn't be like that if one's thanks statistics were only found on one's profile page... but because those numbers are always posted next to their name, on every single post, they become overly fixated/identified on that.

So I wanted this also to be a sanctuary where one doesn't ever have to think about using the button... and we can feel free to post without having to consider how many thanks we might or might not get, or give.

It was a magical day today, where I was here on the west US coast... this is the evidence : )

[grannyfranny100]

Valley, are you a social psychology PhD. candidate? Remember the shock experiments? Or perhaps an MBA student doing a thesis on influencing people?

[Valley]

Posted by grannyfranny100 (here)
Valley, are you a social psychology PhD. candidate? Remember the shock experiments? Or perhaps an MBA student doing a thesis on influencing people?

Thanks GrannyFranny... for giving me enough respect to think I could be an MBA or PhD student of some kind... But, no... I actually dropped out of all official school systems after going to a couple years of Junior College. I did graduate Valedictorian of high school and was voted class president at one time. I dropped out of the corrupted and 'cookie-cutter' school systems after realizing how restricting they seemed to be. I've chosen to do things my own way and live a lifestyle that is outside of the 'phony' system, as much as possible. This thread is kind of an extension of this same theme... a place to get away from the 'standard', conditioned ways and have a little sanctuary of sorts, where we can forget about using any restrictive/containing labeling systems.

I do admit that I didn't explain my reasons very well for creating the thread, at first... so it was easy to misunderstand me. I will also admit that I did want to 'shake things up' a bit about our thinking of and use of the button and all dramas and attachments to using it, and being the recipient of it.

I still have no problems using the button or receiving it outside of this thread, but I wanted to see what it would be like to have a thread that didn't use that 'system'. I quickly saw that it wouldn't work that way for many, so I altered it to not be restrictive for anyone.

I appreciate your coming back to have a few more words together.

All the Best...

[Iloveyou]

Valley, you did (and you're doing) an amazing and astonishing job outside the box. I very much enjoy your way to address issues (you know that ) Thank you. My daughter and two of her friends also dropped out of the school system at age 15 without any official graduation and all of them are doing very well in life now and in creative jobs. Your loving and respectful attitude towards everybody warms my heart. ILY.

[Valley]

Thanks for the respect/encouragement ILY... It's kinda like a dance to me, as I continue to 'skip-step' around without stepping on too many toes. There seems to always be some who feel like I want to step on their toes, but I only really wish the best for everyone. Glad you're getting on the 'glow' effect... feeling it today also.

Sounds like you're doing a fine job in your mother role... congratulations...
Much love & respect...

[Valley]

Posted by gripreaper (here)
I wouldn’t dismiss the thanks button so quickly without looking at all of the implications...

I would be totally lost without it, and I would strongly encourage those who want to see change, those who want to develop the synergies which foster change, to please continue to use the thanks button and treat it with the reverence and respect it so rightly deserves.

Without it I see no hope at all.

Welcome Grip... I have no intention to try to convince anyone to stop using the button outside this thread, or to try and have it banned. Like I said, I just wanted to try it for this one thread here, to see how it might be a different experience... but I see that most just want to keep using it as normal... and that's fine with me too. Consider this just a place where it doesn't matter whether one chooses the button or not... and for those that just want to 'take a little break' from it.

Thanks for the well thought out reply...

Peace...

[PurpleLama]

Posted by PurpleLama (here)
Every thread starts off a spell. To make it or break it, that's a good question?

I wonder, how many appreciate how much consciousness is changed, even sometimes permanently affected, through the written (posted) word.

I expected more from my intended audience.

[the_real_dave-id]

Hi Dave,

You really can't believe it? There are lots of reasons why people might press a button when requested not to do so. I think it is quite interesting.

JC

Hey jc71,

Yeah I really can't believe it. As you say there are many reasons someone might push a button after being asked not to... but I figured that was only in the outer world, not here on Avalon where I thought we held ourselves together a little differently.

It's no big deal really, but I was surprised. Usually when someone asks us to do something for them on the forum (send light, say prayers, or just generally help out) folks jump in and give them exactly what they are asking for. But when asked to refrain from something as a way to give, especially as an experiment, we can't comply?

It truly struck me as odd, and I did have a hard time believing it. For some strange reason I actually expected no thanks to be given with the button, and all thanks to be written out, just to help the OP intent.

Maybe it seemed too inconsequential to matter, or maybe folks felt it would be funny.

While I think the thanks button is important and should remain an integral part of the forum, a single thread without it seemed like an interesting idea and I for one, was a little bummed out that it simply seemed impossible for us to do.

But to be clear, I'm just a little bummed out. I'll get over it. It does make me wonder though.

[Innocent Warrior]

Sorry Valley, I caved...PurpleLama.

Still a success, a highly educational thread. I left university in my final year btw, for the same reasons, you legend.

Edit: K, removing it.

[Valley]

Wow... 9 of last 10 comments with no button pushing (one detraction : )... maybe we're getting somewhere here?... Hard to tell now where this thread will go, from here on out... There are new 'thread dynamics' going on this thread we've not seen with 'normal' threads... but I'm still working on a couple more responses to a few other great posts, to put up shortly.

InnocentWarrior... Yeah, I think it's been great overall, so far... challenging for me especially,... But you know I just had another idea... I'm also turning off my little signature message that usually appears at the bottom of every post... It's been looking rather 'redundant' lately for some reason. : )

That's interesting how you dropped out during your final year. There must be a good story behind that... maybe I'll hear about some day.

[Krist]

Ha ,
Never have been good at doing what I'm told to do,dangit.